Poison Bullet
by papillongirl
Summary: What would happen if Ziva really did need Tony and he wasn't there?
1. Chapter 1

Poison Bullet Poison Bullet

_A/N: I promise this will be the only author's note so humor me for one moment and then we'll get to the good stuff. First, let me say that this is a completed piece of work and I will get the whole thing posted in a timely manner. _

_I don't post WIP's because I never know where the story will take me and I want it to feel cohesive. I edit the complete piece and my hope is that it is all in the same voice so I don't jump my own shark. Plus if I can't finish it at least I don't frustrate a reader. _

_Also, to those wonderful people who have reviewed my two previous short stories – thank you for the kind words. They are so appreciated and truly unexpected. I was asked by a few people to write something longer and so this is the fruit of that labor. I'll be the first to admit that I've read it so many times that I no longer have any perspective on the thing._

_Oh, and I almost forgot, standard disclaimers apply. I don't own them – duh, I wouldn't even suggest killing anyone off if I did!! _

_The story started with the plot bunny 'what if Ziva really did need Tony when he wasn't answering her calls?' It's mostly fluff but there is a little (tiny) bit of plot thrown in. The only other thing I can say is that I have my fingers, toes, and hair crossed that the writers don't do anything crazy with my friends. I really really love NCIS and I'll be honest. I don't want them to change anything about it._

Enjoy!

Set in Season 4. Tony is deep undercover in his make believe relationship with Jeanne. In my season 4 world Tony is with Jeanne for work and no other reason. Gibbs knows that Tony is undercover for Jen but he doesn't really know why (or care probably – except that he isn't into part time field agents.) Ziva just knows that Tony is behaving strangely. She was convinced he was sick but Gibbs gave her a heads up that there _were _other possible reasons for Tony's bizarre behavior. Thus we begin our story.

Tony looked across the table at his date, Jeanne Benoit. He lifted the glass of wine to his lips and smiled over the rim before taking a drink. He continued to expound on the cinematic wonders of one of his favorite movies, Psycho – the original not the remake, when he felt the annoying vibration of his phone in his pocket. He subtly slipped it into his hand and glanced at the display under the table. Gibbs, what was he doing calling at 10pm on a Saturday night?

Tony grimaced, knowing that his boss would be pissed when he didn't answer the call but he couldn't have a conversation with Gibbs while sitting across the table from Jeanne. It was too big of a risk to his assignment. He silenced the vibrations and carefully put the phone away. He would have to find a way to slip away and call him back but just then he saw the waitress approaching with their food. Jeanne would not take kindly to him getting up and leaving the table at this moment.

He had just finished his surf and turf and politely declined the offer of dessert when the soft feminine voice came over the loudspeaker. "Mr. Tony DiNozzo you have a phone call at the concierge desk, Mr. Tony DiNozzo." Tony winced visibly.

"No one can get my name right," he said with feigned annoyance to Jeanne. He stood and placed his napkin on the table and tried to walk casually toward the phone. If Gibbs had managed to track him down in this restaurant something serious must be going on. No one knew he would be here tonight. He picked up the phone and spoke quietly into the receiver. "DiNozzo here," he waited, expecting to be verbally Gibbs-slapped for being unreachable. He was surprised to hear Abby's anxious voice on the other end.

"Tony, Tony, I'm so glad I found you. When Gibbs couldn't reach you he called me in to find you. I was bowling with the nuns and I left right away but it still took time to get the GPS location on your phone and then I had to convince the restaurant that you were there. They didn't have a reservation under your name and,"

"Abby, Abbs, slow down. I'm here now, what's wrong?" Tony turned away from the hostess and whispered into the phone. He heard Abby take a deep breath and she sounded much calmer when she spoke again.

"Tony, Gibbs needs you at a crime scene now." She continued to speak even as Tony attempted to interrupt her. "Tony, it's Ziva's apartment."

Tony's jaw dropped slightly and he struggled to swallow. "What happened?" His voice conveyed the urgency that he felt.

"Gibbs didn't give me any details Tony." Abby worked to keep the fear out of her voice. "He just told me to find you and get you over there. You have to call me when you know what's going on."

"I will Abby, try not to worry. I'm on my way." Tony closed his eyes for a moment before fishing his phone out of his pocket. He saw that he had four missed calls. There were two from Ziva, one from Gibbs, and one from Abby. Guilt plagued Tony as he put the phone away and walked back to the table where Jeanne was patiently waiting for him.

"Hey," he didn't sit down but instead stood nervously, holding onto the chair in front of him. "There's an emergency at work. I've got to take off. You can take a cab can't you?"

Jeanne flushed and looked surprised. "There's a movie emergency on Saturday night?"

"I don't have time to explain right now. I'll call you when I can." He leaned down and kissed her on the cheek before handing her cash out of his wallet. He gently patted her on the head. "Thanks for understanding." He called over his shoulder as he tried not to sprint out of the restaurant.

Tony didn't realize it as he put the petal to the metal on the way to Ziva's apartment, but his driving resembled Gibbs. He pulled into the lot and left the car parked haphazardly at an angle across three spaces. He raced for the door and took the stairs three at a time to reach Ziva's fourth floor apartment.

"Gibbs," Tony burst through the door and panted, his hands resting against his knees as he worked to catch his breath. "Where's Ziva?"

Gibbs looked at him quietly. "Where were you?" His voice was deadly quiet.

"I was at a restaurant. I'm sorry boss." Tony readily acknowledged his error. "Boss?" He asked hesitantly. "She is alright isn't she?"

"They took her to George Washington University Hospital. It looked like she took a nasty hit to the upper arm."

Tony looked around the room. "And no one went with her?" He asked with surprise.

"She called _you_ didn't she, DiNozzo?"

Tony felt the blood drain from his face. "Damn, I didn't think,"

"I know you didn't think DiNozzo." He paused and looked seriously at the younger man in front of him. "And when she called me I think she was more worried that something had happened to you than she was about herself." Gibbs dug the knife of guilt a little deeper with his words. "Are you going to get down there or do I have to kick your ass the whole way myself?"

"Going Boss," Tony didn't hesitate. He turned toward the door and saw McGee out of the corner eye giving him a sympathetic look. He just ducked his head and left without a word.

Tony pulled into the visitors lot at the hospital and threw his cell phone down onto the seat in frustration. He had spent the entire drive trying to find out information about Ziva's condition but he had been less than successful. All he knew was that she was going to be taken to surgery. He hadn't been able to speak with her or found out any details about her condition.

The nurse at the front desk looked up Ziva's information for Tony. "It looks like she's in surgery sir, do you know where the OR waiting room is?"

Tony nodded slowly. "Do you know anything about her condition?" He asked hopefully.

The nurse shook her head with sympathy. "I'm sorry, I can only tell you her location but I'll let the OR staff know that you're here and they will give you an update when she is transferred to the PACU."

Tony smiled a shadow of his normal charming smile and walked away slowly. He had a bad feeling in his gut. Gibbs said it was just an arm wound, but he had never known Ziva not to come out on top of an altercation and the fact that she was wounded at all worried him.

The surgery waiting room Tony wandered into was the typical sparsely decorated waiting room with white walls and an ugly wallpaper border. Hard plastic chairs lined the circumference of the room and two row of chairs sat back-to-back down the center. There were televisions mounted high in the corners, poor distractions from the knowledge that a friend or relative was under the knife.

Tony was grateful that the room was mostly empty. He sat down and picked up a copy of Modern Man lying within reach on a table. The issue was over a year old, he noted with disdain. He idly flipped through the magazine, not seeing any of the words or even the pictures as he slowly turned the pages. Tony tapped his foot impatiently, looking at his watch. It had only been an hour since he left Ziva's apartment, realistically not a long time for someone to be in surgery but he needed to see for himself that Ziva was okay. The guilt he felt at not answering her initial calls bit at him. He stood and paced the length of the room twice before pulling his cell phone from his back pocket.

"Gibbs," his boss answered on the second ring.

"Hey Boss, I just wanted to see how things were going over there. Do you have any leads on who broke into Ziva's apartment?" He tried hard to keep his anxiety under control. He didn't really need to speak with his boss at that very moment but he welcomed the distraction that getting yelled at would provide.

"We're still going over the evidence DiNozzo." Gibbs voice wasn't as harsh as Tony expected. "Any news on Ziva?" He asked quietly?

"I'm still waiting for her to come out of surgery. No one can tell me anything. The waiting bites Boss."

"I know Tony, let me know when you hear anything."

"I will." Tony heard a scuffle in the background.

"Tony?" He heard McGee's anxious voice as he took the phone from Gibbs. "How is Ziva?"

"I don't know anything yet Probie," Tony's voice held no malice toward the younger agent. "I told Gibbs I'd call as soon as I do. She's going to be ok McGee. You know Ziva. She's as tough as they come."

"I know. Tony," he said hesitantly. "When you see her, tell her, just tell her…" The younger agent trailed off awkwardly.

"I'll tell her you're thinking about her McGee. Look, I've got to get off of here. I'll call you back when I know more."

Tony walked over to the coffee pot in the corner and poured himself a cup of the sludge that passed for coffee in the hospital. He just looked down at it before throwing it in the trash. He ran his hands through his hair before looking up at the ceiling. He should have answered his phone. This assignment was important to the director and his feelings for Jeanne were confusing him but none of it was more important than his team. If weren't for his loyalty to them he would have taken his own team in Rota when Gibbs first came back. These people were his family.

A doctor wearing blue scrubs walked through the door and pulled his cap off. Tony took a step toward him in anticipation. "Are you here for Ziva David?" The doctor asked, mispronouncing Ziva's last name.

Tony nodded without bothering to correct him. "How is she?" he asked anxiously.

"She's in recovery. She lost a fair amount of blood but she came through the surgery in good condition. She can go home in 24-48 hours as long as she does well. Her recovery will take longer, she'll probably need some physical therapy but my best guess is she'll regain most of the use of that arm."

"What do you mean most of the use?" The anxiety was back in Tony's voice as he heard the prognosis.

"Well, Mr."

"DiNozzo," Tony supplied automatically.

"Mr. DiNozzo, the bullet passed through Ziva's upper arm at close range. It did significant muscle and tendon damage. We repaired what we could but you have to realize that there are some things that just can't be fixed."

"Can I see her?" Tension remained in Tony's voice but he tried to be courteous to the doctor.

"She'll be in the recovery room for 30 – 45 minutes and then they will take her to a room. You can see her once she is there. One of the nurses will come for you after they have moved her."

Tony nodded his thanks and turned away from the doctor. He pulled his phone out of his pocket again and looked at the display. He knew he should call Gibbs but he wanted to wait until he had seen Ziva before he talked to his boss. He wasn't willing to accept the doctor's explanation that some things can't be fixed. This was Ziva. She was invincible.

Tony felt stupid for thinking it. Of course Ziva wasn't invincible. She was human just like the rest of them, but she was so tough that sometimes he forgot that she was just as fallible, as fragile as any of them. Perhaps more fragile for having grown up in such a hurry.

It felt more like hours than the forty-five minutes that was promised when Tony was finally standing over the hospital bed containing a sleeping Ziva. She looked peaceful, and if it wasn't for their location and the large bandage encasing Ziva's right arm from fingertips to axilla he would have thought she was just resting her eyes after staring at the computer monitor for one too many hours.

He sat down beside her and wrapped his hand around the fingers of her left hand. They were cool to the touch and he wondered if she was warm enough. He carefully pulled the blanket up under her chin and smoothed it out.

He sat back down and clasped her hand in his again. He was staring off into space when he suddenly felt eyes watching him. He turned and saw Ziva gazing at him sleepily.

"Hey," he said softly.

"Hey yourself," she croaked. Tony leaned over her and spooned a few ice chips into her mouth. He waited while she allowed them to melt on her tongue.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I've been shot." Ziva gave Tony a look that asked what he was thinking. "Are you alright? She asked. "I couldn't reach you again."

"I'm fine. I'm sorry I didn't answer the phone," he apologized but didn't offer any explanation. She gave him a pointed look and he squirmed under her gaze.

He wanted to tell her the truth. He wanted to tell Gibbs the truth. This was one of the first times he had ever regretted being a federal agent. He had known that secrets would be involved in the job but he had never imagined that it would be necessary to keep them from members of his own team and he hadn't imagined how uncomfortable that would be.

He wished Gibbs was there to head slap him. The physical discomfort would take his mind off of the guilt he felt.

"Do you remember what happened?"

"I was in the shower and I heard a noise. I got out but I just had a towel on when I walked into the living room," she started her story slowly. "There was a man there He was maybe 6 foot 2 inches, 215 pounds. He had dark hair, average features. He pulled a gun and shot me and then he turned and left." She cocked her head. "It was very strange. He did not take anything and if his goal was to kill me he did not accomplish that. He had to know he shot me in a nonfatal location. I did not have the chance to defend myself before he was gone. I called you but when you did not answer," she said without recrimination. "I called Gibbs."

Guilt shot through Tony's gut once again. He watched as Ziva clenched her teeth and her nostrils flared as she inhaled deeply. "Hey," Tony reached over and pushed the hair out of Ziva's face. "You're hurting. Try to relax and I'll get the nurse to give you some pain medication." He stood to leave the room.

"I am fine," she ground out with difficulty. "When do I get to leave? I want to be part of the investigation." She attempted to sit up but was easily thwarted by gentle pressure to her good arm. She realized how weak she felt.

"Not for a day or two. They want to make sure everything is healing and there's no infection before you go home. Then you might need some physical therapy. So lay back and let me find someone to give you the good drugs." Tony stepped out of the room and inhaled deeply.

Keeping Ziva away from work for days when it was her case they were working was going to be a difficult undertaking and one he didn't relish.

Tony flagged a nurse down and after he was assured that she'd be in with some morphine for Ziva and that Ziva would most likely fall asleep soon after that, he stepped out into the lobby to call Gibbs.

"How is she?" Gibbs didn't bother with pleasantries when he answered the second call from DiNozzo.

Tony smiled. "She wants to come back to work, right now."

"That's not going to happen."

"I know. They aren't releasing her tonight anyway. Boss, the doctor said there was a lot of muscle and tendon damage to her am and that she's going to need physical therapy to regain most of her mobility. I told her she might need some therapy but I don't think she knows how bad it is."

"Well, don't you be the one to tell her. I wouldn't want her to kick your ass and slow down her recovery."

Tony was surprised to hear the smile in Gibbs voice as well as his attempt to add some levity to the situation but Tony knew that Gibbs was nothing if not unpredictable.

"You want me back there Boss?" The nurse told me that Ziva would probably fall asleep once she'd given her the pain medication."

"No, you stay there. We've got this covered. McGee found the bullet. It's on the way back to Abby now."

"Are you sure Boss? Because I could,"

"DiNozzo," Gibbs interrupted. "You think it's odd that someone broke into Ziva's apartment just to shoot her in the arm?"

"Good point Boss." Tony mentally head slapped himself. "I'll stay with her."

"Oh, and DiNozzo, the next time you don't answer your phone…" he let the words trail off, the unspoken threat loud over the faint static of Tony's cell phone.

"Got it Boss," Tony answered quietly. There was nothing else he could say, no joke that could make it better. He had violated one of the most important rules – to always be available.

He tucked the phone back into his pocket and walked back to Ziva's room. He sat down in the hard plastic chair that had been provided and prepared himself for a long night of watching his partner sleep.

"Gibbs," even the normally bubbly Abby sounded subdued at 0400. "I'm glad you're here. I was just getting ready to call you."

"Whatcha got for me Abbs?" He held a Caff-Pow in his hand. He thought she might need a pick-me-up. He handed it to her wordlessly.

"Nothing really exciting. The bullet is a standard full metal jacket 35 millimeter round, could have come from any number of pistols. But here's what's odd. There's a residue on the bullet. I got the results from the mass spectrometer and it's not anything I could identify."

"Some kind of coating, residue, contamination, dirt, what Abby?"

"I don't know Gibbs, it's not something I've ever seen before but I'm still working on it. Other than that we've got nothing. Ziva said he was wearing gloves but she didn't see him touch anything anyway. I mean, he must have touched the door when he came in even if he didn't touch it on the way out. You didn't bring me a shell casing but if I," Abby babbled, the wheels in her head spinning.

"Ziva said he policed it on the way out."

"That's what I'm saying. There's no trace. No fibers, nothing that doesn't belong except a hole in the wall, a bullet and Ziva's blood on the carpet." Abby tapped some keys on her computer and they watched as the crime scene photos flashed by.

Abby turned away as the pictures containing Ziva's blood flashed on the screen, larger than life. "Gibbs, you know I'm not squeamish but you have to tell them to stop getting hurt. I don't know how much more of this I can take."

Gibbs leaned over and gently kissed her on the cheek. "Keep working on that bullet residue. It may be the break we're looking for. And Ziva's gonna be fine, she's already pestering DiNozzo wanting to come back to work."

"I'll call you when I've got something else." Gibbs smiled as he made his way to the elevator.

It had been a close call tonight but he had every confidence that Ziva would make that doctor eat his words and she'd be back working with them at 100 percent in record time. She was an exceptionally strong woman and she would have all the support they could give. They just had to find the damn guy who had hurt her and put him away.

He ran a hand over his face. The adrenaline was wearing off and fatigue was catching up with him. He sent McGee home an hour ago when the younger agent couldn't complete a thought despite his best effort. Gibbs would stay as long as Abby did. Coffee, that's what he needed.


	2. Chapter 2

He looked down at his watch

He looked down at his watch. 0430. He should have called Jenny many times that night but with all the chaos and confusion he hadn't managed to pick up the phone. He opened his cell thoughtfully and then put it down on the desk. A couple more hours wouldn't make any difference in how pissed the director was going to be and she could use the sleep.

Tony woke to the feeling of eyes watching him. He slowly opened his own eyes and was unsurprised to find Ziva quietly studying him. "So, I see that being half drugged and injured doesn't diminish the use of your bat skills," he joked with her.

"What do you mean?" Her brow wrinkled in confusion. "I was just lying here."

"You woke me with the power of your mind." He wiggled his fingers at her playfully. She rolled her eyes in response.

"You can be such a child."

"And that's what you love about me."

"Ha, you have a very inflated opinion of what I think of you." She shifted and grimaced. She reached over with her left hand to gingerly rub the elbow of her right arm. "I have never understood what they do in operating rooms. My arm was injured, what did they do to make my whole body hurt?"

"You were in there for a long time. Hard table?"

"Probably."

"You need more of those good drugs? I can find that nurse. She said if I needed anything…" He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"No," Ziva pushed herself into a closer approximation of a sitting position. "What I need is to get out of here and back to NCIS. Gibbs probably has a lead by now and I want to," Ziva trailed off and suddenly had what Tony could only describe as a strange look on her face. She fell back onto the pillow, her body rigid. Tony noticed that her left arm was twitching and her gaze was deviated to the right.

"Ziva, you okay?" He asked slowly. "Ziva!" Tony reached over and touched her face. He realized that something was very wrong. He pushed the call button on the wall and then ran for the door. He stuck his head outside, he didn't see anyone but he shouted for someone to help him anyway.

He hurried back to the bed and stroked her cheek. "It's going to be ok Ziva, someone is coming." He looked back toward the door. "Come on, come on," he muttered to himself. Ziva gave no indication that she heard anything that he was saying. She was completely unresponsive.

The nurse finally walked through the door. She took one look at Ziva and pulled the cord of the call light out of the wall. "That will bring more help," she answered the unspoken question. "Does she have a history of seizures?" She asked as she pulled her penlight out of her pocket and checked Ziva's pupils.

"No," Tony answered. "What is wrong with her?"

"I'm not sure. She's having a seizure but I'm not sure what would have caused it. We'll get her some Ativan. Hopefully that will stop the seizure, then we'll contact the doctor and see what he wants to do." Another nurse showed up just then and stayed with Tony and Ziva while her colleague went to get the medication.

Tony moved back to Ziva's side and wrapped his fingers around her trembling hand. He wasn't comfortable with the feeling of helplessness that washed over him. The first nurse returned shortly with a syringe. She injected the contents into one of the ports on Ziva's IV tubing. Tony felt himself holding his breath while the seizure continued. He watched the clock as the seconds ticked by. Slowly he felt the tremors stop under his hand.

"Ziva?" He spoke quietly. She didn't respond. The nurse slipped around him and looked at her pupils with the penlight again. She started to take Ziva's vital signs and then nodded contently.

"She's post ichtal. It's a normal state after a seizure. She'll probably sleep for several hours. I'm going to go call the doctor and get some more orders. I'll let you know what the plan is as soon as I find out." Tony nodded shortly, his attention not wavering from Ziva's face.

Tony slowly resumed his seat at her side. He reached in his pocket and pulled his cell phone out. He hit the speed dial for Gibbs and held the phone to his ear.

"Gibbs," the gruff voice reassured Tony somewhat.

"Hey Boss," he whispered, not wanting to wake Ziva and not wanting to leave her to go out into the hall.

"DiNozzo," Tony heard the weariness in just that one word. It was unusual to hear anything but strength in Gibbs' voice but he went all out when one of his own was in trouble and it took a toll even on the indefatigable Gibbs. "How is Ziva doing? Still fighting you about coming to work?" Gibbs smiled at the thought of him trying to keep Ziva from doing anything that she really wanted to do.

"That's the thing Boss, she just had a seizure. They gave her something and she's sleeping now but she shouldn't have had a seizure. The nurse said they would run some tests and that she'd let me know when she heard something else. She's just lying there Boss, it's not like her."

Tony paused, he heard other voices on the line and then Gibbs voice, soft as he held it away from his ear. "Abby, Abs slow down. DiNozzo's on the phone. Here, do the speaker thing."

Tony held the phone away from his ear slightly as the people on the other side scrabbled with the phone. Finally he heard voices again.

"Tony, can you hear me?" Abby's excited voice came through clearly.

"I hear you Abs. What is going on over there?"

"I told Gibbs earlier, there's a residue on the bullet. I had a hard time identifying it. In fact, I'm still having a hard time with it but I have more information now. It's some sort of toxin. It's a poisoned bullet." Abby seemed to realize that the excitement in her voice was inappropriate. "How is Ziva doing Tony?"

"Not great. What's the treatment for the poison on the bullet?"

"I don't know, I'm still doing some tests but it's not a common substance." Abby worried her pigtails and chewed on the tip of her thumb as she thought about the tests that were running in her lab.

"Tony?" Ziva's weak voice interrupted and Tony stepped back over to the bed.

"Call me when you know something." He said to Abby before closing the phone and tossing it carelessly onto the end of the bed.

He sat down and leaned toward Ziva solicitously. "How do you feel?" She bit her lip and Tony could see her deciding what to say to him.

"Not so good actually," she settled on the truth. "You were talking to Gibbs, yes?"

"And Abby," Tony acknowledged.

"Any news?" She yawned and covered her mouth apologetically.

"They're working on it."

"Don't you need to get back?" She held her breath for a moment. She was expecting Tony to go back to work with the rest of the team. She would deny it if asked but she wasn't looking forward to being alone.

"I'm going to stay here and watch your six. There's someone out there who is not your biggest fan and the last thing we need is someone taking another pot shot at you."

Ziva looked away guiltily. She hated feeling weak. She was keeping Tony away from the investigation and she would really like to see the guy who did this off the streets.

Her eyes drifted closed of their own volition. She struggled briefly with consciousness but Tony's warm reassuring hand on her arm put her anxieties to rest and she felt herself drift off into nothingness where, for a time there was no pain.

Gibbs pulled a clean shirt out of the bottom drawer of his desk and slipped it on. It was going to be a long day following a long night and he was growing increasingly worried about his newest agent. Poison, that put a different spin on things. Not only did he have to find out who was responsible but Abby also had to figure out what sort of toxin was running through Ziva's body so they could reverse it. If they could reverse it. Gibbs forcefully pushed that thought out of his mind. Today would not be a good day to lose a fellow agent, a friend he amended. He looked down at his watch, the day couldn't start too soon. They needed to work the few leads that they had before they went cold. It was still too early for the director to be in and McGee needed more sleep too.

He knew that McGee hadn't gone home even though he had told him to, and at this moment the younger man was asleep on the floor of Abby's lab. He admired the fortitude that kept him there, working beyond the point where he could reason. He ran his fingers over his brow again and sat down at his computer, futilely going over the minute amount of information available for the fifth time in as many hours. He slammed his hand down on the keys in frustration. Suddenly he heard the ding of the elevator behind him and the familiar clatter of Abby's platform boots scurrying across the floor.

"Gibbs, Gibbs," her voice was high pitched with excitement. "I think I've found something important."

"What is it Abs?" He gently restrained one of the hands waving frantically in his face.

"There's a marking on this bullet. I almost missed it because the bullet is so mangled but when I enhanced it with the,"

"Abby," Gibbs broke in. "Just get to the punch line." Abby swallowed and nodded.

"There's a marking on the bullet. It's small and faint but I traced it back to one private manufacturer in Bat Yam. It's a town in Israel,"

"Near where Ziva grew up. Good work Abby. Take a break and send McGee up as soon as he looks halfway human again."

"Sure, I um," she smiled. "I'm not even gonna ask how you know that."

Gibbs smiled his cryptic smile and turned back to the computer. Now he had a lead that he could work with.

The director arrived at the same time as McGee. She looked windblown with pink cheeks from the cold outside. McGee just looked rumpled. Gibbs could tell that she had asked McGee what was going on and he declined to answer because of the annoyed look on her face and the chagrin in McGee's eyes.

"Jen, I need to speak with you privately," he preempted her question and stood, picking up the handwritten list he was working on and preceded her up the stairs to MTAC.

"What's going on Jethro? Your agent is here awfully early and it doesn't appear that he changed clothes since yesterday." She turned on him the moment the door closed. "You weren't working on anything important when I left here last night."

"There was an incident at Ziva's apartment. Someone broke in and shot here in the arm. He obviously didn't intend to kill her outright. DiNozzo's at the hospital with her now. Abby found poison residue on the bullet. We're working on it." He paused to take a breath.

"One of my agents get shot and you didn't bother to call me?" Her voice was sharply reproachful.

"I'm telling you now." Gibbs face was hard and unapologetic. "There was no time, and there was nothing that you could have done anyway," he explained quietly.

"You should have called me Jethro." She spoke again but this time there was no anger in her voice. She reached a hand out to him, knowing that an injury to one of his team members was seen as a personal assault and he had trouble dealing with that emotion. "I'm here if you need me. It's Ziva, I'm sure she's going to be fine." She tried to sound confident.

Gibbs nodded wordlessly and walked out of the Director's office.

Ziva was dreaming, more like having nightmares, Tony thought to himself. She thrashed restlessly in the stark white hospital bed, throwing his hand from her arm as she tossed and turned. Her skin felt like it was on fire. Nurses and Doctors had both been in frequently to assess her condition.

Ziva's temperature was frighteningly high and everything they tried to bring her fever down to more acceptable levels had failed. She was currently lying on a cooling blanket but thus far it had only served to further agitate her.

Tony knotted his hands in his hair. He couldn't stand watching her this way. He stood and paced the length of the small room; three strides in either direction. Ziva suddenly opened her eyes and started to speak. He moved back to her side and realized that she was speaking in Hebrew.

"Ziva, Ziva," he tried to speak soothingly. "It's Tony, please speak English Ziva," he begged.

"Tony?" Her voice was dry and scratchy from disuse. She looked at him incredulously and then she shrank away from him, pulling her hand away from where it lay encased in his. "Get away from me," she cried desperately. "Don't hurt me." She grimaced as she jarred her injured arm.

"Ziva?" Tony was surprised at his behavior and spoke rationally to calm her. "No one is going to hurt you, I'm here so that no one can hurt you."

"No," she cried, cowering against the bed rail, desperately trying to free herself from the myriad of lines and tubes and simultaneously launch herself out of the bed between the bed rails.

Tony didn't understand what was happening. He reached over and pushed the button on the call light before gently restraining her. He knew that she would hurt herself if she managed to get up and if she removed her IV the nurses would be forced to restart it. Tony shuddered at the thought of that large needle piercing her skin again.

A nurse entered the room and upon seeing the situation quickly escorted Tony into the hallway before reentering herself. Tony knew the staff was only trying to help his partner but his feeling of helplessness was intensely frustrating. He smacked the wall before leaning one shoulder against it. He could hear Ziva cry out and he cracked the door a bit so that he could keep an eye on the situation.

Ziva was still cowering against the bed rail and the nurse was trying futilely to calm her. The nurse turned and caught Tony's eye. She sighed, acknowledging that Ziva was more than she could deal with alone and Tony slowly made his way back into the room. He held his hands out to her to show that he meant no harm but there was still a look of sheer terror in her eyes.

"She's hallucinating," The nurse told him quietly. "Stay here with her, don't let her hurt herself and I'll get some more Ativan. That should calm her down until we get a handle on what is going on."

Tony nodded, his eyes never leaving Ziva's face. The nurse left the room and they were alone again.

"Ziva, we're friends. I would never hurt you." He kept his tone light, hoping that he could diffuse the situation by reasoning with her. The glazed look in her eyes didn't show any sign of understanding.

Then the tears started. They weren't dainty feminine tears; they were great rolling ears and hitching sobs accompanied by a running nose. It broke Tony's heart and he wanted nothing more than to comfort his partner, sitting there on the bed looking so forlorn. He approached her again but she didn't seem to notice. He reached out and gently stroked her hair with no adverse reaction before he hesitantly climbed onto the bed with her. He pulled her over against his chest and supported her injured arm while she cried into his shoulder. Her good hand fisted in the material of his shirt. He continued reassuring her that everything was going to be alright but she didn't give any hint of understanding him.

The nurse walked into the room with a syringe. Tony caught her eye and nodded. She quietly fiddled with the IV tubing and then stepped back into the corner to monitor the situation.

It didn't take long before Ziva's breathing evened out and slowed. She gradually grew heavy in his arms. He carefully laid her back on the pillow and turned to the nurse who was studying a form in her hands.

"What is going on here?" His voice came out quiet but harsher than he intended. "Can't anyone around here do anything besides sedate her? That's not helping her in the long run." The timbre of his voice frightened the girl.

"I'm sorry, I'm doing everything I can but I'll call the doctor again and then the lab to see if her blood work is back. I understand we're working with an unknown toxin. There just isn't anything else I know to do. I'm worried about her too." She leaned over and straightened the covers before looking at Tony again.

He could feel himself staring at her and he realized that he was giving her the Gibbs stare. The intimidation was unintentional but if he got results it was worth it.

"Gibbs, I have a list of Israeli nationals in the country. I cross referenced them with anything that I could think of that would be associated with Ziva and I got ten hits but I've accounted for everyone on the list." McGee pulled the list of potential suspects up on the plasma screen. "I tried to cross reference all of her old cases with Mossad but most of it is classified."

"Hack into what you can. I'll get clearance for what I can." Gibbs picked up the phone and made a call while McGee turned back to his computer and attempted to hack into international security files.

Time flew by unnoticed as the pair combed through ten years of old data. Finally Gibbs gaze settled on one particular file. Gil Nadir, a member of Mossad. He showed the information to McGee. McGee looked at the file with interest.

"Why him Boss? He's Mossad like Ziva, they're on the same side."

"I can't give you motive but what I can give you is proximity and opportunity and I don't believe that is a coincidence."

McGee nodded wordlessly as he continued to read the file. "What are we going to do?" He asked as he looked up at Gibbs.

"We're going to find him," Gibbs said with exasperation. "Then we're going to get DiNozzo and we're going after him. He's going to tell us what he poisoned Ziva with."

"I'm on it Boss. He's in the country legally so he shouldn't be too hard to find." Gibbs nodded and then he was halfway up the stairs to the director's office.

Tony rested his booted feet on the end of Ziva's bed. She was still sleeping and he was still waiting for answers. At least she looked comfortable now. The nurses were giving her large doses of antibiotics, sedatives, and painkillers. Her blood work had come back but nothing identifiable had shown up.

He had spoken to Abby several times and she was working with her own samples of Ziva's blood as well as the bullet residue and while she felt she was making some headway she still didn't have the information they so desperately needed. Ziva was just getting sicker and sicker and he was sitting here doing nothing. He didn't want to leave Ziva alone but he couldn't do anything to help her while he was sitting here.

Suddenly as if Gibbs could read his mind, something that Tony had long been afraid of, his cell phone vibrated in his pocket.

"DiNozzo," Gibbs voice was rushed. "McGee has a lead on our suspect. Meet us in the warehouse district in fifteen minutes. McGee is sending you the GPS information now."


	3. Chapter 3

Tony stood in excitement at the development. Finally, he thought to himself. Then his gaze fell to the agent lying helplessly in the bed. He couldn't just walk away and leave her here by herself, even if he was trying to do something to help her. She could wake up at any time and even though she was disoriented and didn't know what was going on she knew him and at least his face was familiar.

"Boss, I," he faltered.

"Abby is on her way to stay with Ziva." Gibbs read Tony's mind a second time. "She should be there in five minutes but we need you to leave now."

"I'm already out the door Boss," Tony turned and looked at Ziva again. He was happy to have something to do but there was a sick feeling of foreboding deep in his gut. He wished there was time for him to brief Abby on everything that was going on before he left but there wasn't. He turned and walked briskly out of the room.

He saw Abby pull into the hospital parking lot as he turned the ignition over. She gave him a little wave, which he acknowledged with a nod and then he was gone.

Abby slipped into Ziva's room without being noticed by the staff, she was unusually subdued. The situation brought back all sorts of bad memories. Gibbs and Gerald had been shot, Tony had pneumatic plague, and Kate had been killed. Abby herself had been stalked. The team had gone through so much in the last few years and now Ziva the invincible was lying there and no one knew what to do to make it better.

Abby fidgeted with her bag as she closed the door behind her. She leaned up against it and then reached in her bag and pulled out Burt. She knew it was silly but the farting stuffed animal made her feel better and since she didn't like hospitals she needed all the encouragement she could get.

She reluctantly walked over and sat on the chair that Tony had vacated. Ziva was so still, and her entire right arm was encased in bandages. There was a cardiac and respiratory monitor, and an IV pole. Despite all the equipment the silence was overwhelming. Abby pulled her I-Pod out of her bag and was just starting to insert the ear buds into her ears when Ziva's eyes popped open. Abby stopped moving and looked at her quietly.

"Ziva?" She finally spoke and leaned toward her. "How are you doing? Do you need anything?" She consciously worked at not saying too much. She knew how that annoyed Ziva.

Ziva turned away from her. "Ziva?" Abby leaned forward and touched Ziva on her good shoulder.

Ziva's lightning quick reflexes went into effect and she reached up and grabbed Abby by the wrist. Abby jerked in surprise but Ziva's grip only tightened. Her eyes flashed with unbridled fury.

"What are you doing?" She hissed.

"I, um I," Abby stammered.

"You disgust me," she thrust Abby's hand away from her. "You and your pigtails and your cute little animals. You live in the world of a child. You have a mind but you have no killer instinct. Nothing that will make you great."

Abby's face drained of color. "Well, Officer David," her voice grew cold with anger. "We can't all be killing machines. Some of us prefer to use our brains instead of brute force. I haven't been responsible for getting my friends injured and killed." Abby's words seemed to stop Ziva in her tracks. A strange look came into her eyes but Abby was on a roll and couldn't stop.

"Not only are you cold and heartless but you don't belong here with us. Your brother killed Kate and I hold you responsible for that. You were his control officer. If you really didn't know what he was doing then you should have. You have no business here."

Ziva turned away from Abby and clenched her eyes closed. A lone tear rolled down her cheek. Abby caught and checked herself. She rubbed her eyes. "Ziva," she lowered her voice and attempted to calm herself. Ziva gave a low gasp and fell back against the pillow. Abby watched her for a moment and suddenly the monitors started beeping and she realized that Ziva wasn't breathing.

Abby gasped and ran out of the room just as several members of the hospital staff rushed in. Abby leaned against the wall, doubled over. The things she had said to Ziva were awful and she had no explanation for why they had come out of her mouth. The fact that Ziva had started it was no excuse. She shouldn't have let herself be provoked. Abby knew that she was high strung and sometimes she let her emotions overrule her common sense, but Ziva was sick and Abby should have just let her words go.

Suddenly Abby heard the hospital operator's voice squawk through the intercom system. "Code Blue, room 318. Code Blue, room 318." More hospital staff raced past Abby with a large red cart. Abby jumped back and then realized what was going on.

She looked through the small window in the door to Ziva's room and saw the doctor and nurse hover around Ziva. She was now lying flat on the bed. A low wail came out of Abby's mouth. She heard the sound but didn't realize that she was the one who had made it.

Her first instinct was to call Gibbs but his phone went straight to voice mail as did Tony's and she knew that they were still trying to find the man who had hurt Ziva. She called Ducky instead.

Palmer answered on the second ring. "Dr. Mallard's phone," the young voice said.

"Jimmy I need to talk to Ducky, where is he?" Abby spoke without pleasantries.

"Umm, Abby?" He sounded nervous. "Dr. Mallard is around here somewhere."

"Well find him, I need to talk to him." After a moment where Abby could hear Palmer walking around the morgue she heard mumbled voices and then Ducky's warm brogue came on the line.

"Abigail my dear, how is Ziva doing?"

"Ducky, they just called a code blue. I'm standing in the hallway and I said terrible things to her and I'm so afraid she's going to die."

Ducky paused for a moment to mentally untangle Abby's frantic rambling before he spoke again. "Oh dear, a code blue?"

"Yes," Abby said weakly, fighting against tears. "I tried to call Gibbs but he is with Tony and McGee, they have a lead on the bad guy."

"Yes, yes, I heard."

"Ducky I said some terrible things to Ziva. I don't know why. I just opened my mouth and these terrible words started coming out."

"You are tired and stressed my dear, perhaps,"

"That's no excuse Ducky, I"

"No," he interrupted. "It's not an excuse but perhaps it is an explanation."

"I have to tell her I'm sorry." Abby whimpered and Ducky could hear Burt fart through the phone. "What if I don't get the chance to tell her that I'm sorry?"

"We have to hope for the best Abigail. Gibbs is going to find the antidote and Ziva will make a full recovery."

"Could you come down here and wait with me?" Abby asked quietly.

"I'm on my way Abby."

She nodded though she knew Ducky couldn't see her and quietly slid her phone shut. She turned and looked in the window again. No one had exited the room but the previous flurry of activity had slowed.

Ziva had been intubated and the endotracheal tube was secured to her mouth with a wide piece of tape. A nurse was slowly squeezing a blue ambu bag. There was a doctor carefully dividing his attention between watching Ziva and watching the monitor that she was attached to. Another doctor looked up and caught Abby's eye through the glass. He walked toward her. He opened the door and stepped out into the hall.

"Are you with Ms. David?" He asked kindly as Abby wiped at her eyes.

She nodded wordlessly. She wanted to know how Ziva was doing but she could see that she wasn't doing well and she couldn't bring herself to speak. Sensing her angst the doctor didn't make Abby say the words.

"Ms. David is in very serious condition. We were able to restart her heart with medication but she has not resumed breathing on her own at this time. In a few minutes we will be moving her to the intensive care unit where she will be placed on a ventilator and monitored more closely. We will give her as much supportive care as we can, but I'm sure you realize that given her condition and the lack of a treatment for the poison she was given there is only so much we can do. She has a very limited amount of time left if there is no change in status."

Abby swallowed visibly. "Do you know if she has any sort of living will or power of attorney set up?" The doctor asked softly. Abby shook her head and crossed her arms in front of herself protectively.

"I don't know, but the director of NCIS will have her file and if it exists that information will be in there." The doctor nodded.

"You should find out," he said seriously. Abby nodded and then followed the doctor's direction to wait in the lobby while Ziva was moved.

She used the time to call Jenny and ascertain that Ziva did not in fact have any sort of advance directive in her file. The director shared that when they were working together in Cairo Ziva had explained that in her line of work she didn't expect to live to be old. The types of injuries that she had seen were definitive. Either she could be saved or she couldn't. She didn't see herself lingering and so had never made any advance plans. Abby sat down to wait in the uncomfortable lobby for a little while longer.

"Gibbs," Tony hissed as he stood in the shadows at the corner of the abandoned warehouse. He drew his sidearm and pointed it at the sky while quietly gesturing at the locked door in front of him. Gibbs nodded and returned the gesture. They were ready to enter the building.

McGee was around the back guarding the exit. There was reasonably reliable intelligence that had led them to this building. Their sources told them that Nadir was holed up inside. Tony stepped back and used his body weight to burst through the door. He barely felt the burning sensation that told him he would be black and blue in the morning.

The sound of his boots echoed in the cavernous room. He spotted the back door and quickly walked toward it to let McGee inside. Gibbs had moved farther away but his tinny voice through the earwig told him that everything was clear so far.

Tony swore under his breath. If this was a wild goose chase then they were losing valuable time. Time that Ziva didn't have to spare. It felt good to escape the hospital, to move and stretch his legs, to breathe in something besides the scent of industrial strength disinfectant, but it made him feel guilty also. Ziva couldn't get up and walk away from this mess and the image of her lying so still and helpless was burned on the back of his eyelids. She should be here now instead of being stuck there.

"DiNozzo," Gibbs voice grew urgent in his ear, pulling him out of his reverie. "I've got something over here."

Tony turned and sprinted toward his boss; McGee close at his heels Gibbs was standing in front of a hatch in the floor that presumably opened into the basement.

Tony cocked his head and thought he could faintly hear voices through the door. He looked at Gibbs who nodded silently, he heard the voices too, but the sound was too faint to make out what they were saying. The three men spread themselves evenly around the door, weapons drawn and held at the ready.

At Gibbs nod Tony threw open the door and darted back so he was able to see. A ladder descended into the darkness but the voices were louder here. Tony holstered his weapon and stepped onto the ladder. He descended quickly while Gibbs covered him. He reached the bottom and looked around furtively. There was a short hallway and another closed door. He waved Gibbs and McGee down. McGee swallowed hard before stepping on the ladder but he gritted his teeth and followed Gibbs down into the dark hole.

At the bottom the three stood in a small dark chamber. Directly in front of them was a door and the disembodied voices were louder behind it. Tony put his hand on the door and again at Gibbs nod he pulled the door open. There were three men who could have been Ziva's brothers sitting at a folding table. They were relaxed and laughing but their arsenal was well within reach. They looked up in surprise and confusion at the intrusion.

Gibbs took the opportunity to take control of the situation. "Don't move," he held his weapon on the man who he recognized from the picture of Gil Nadir. He felt the presence of DiNozzo and McGee behind him, their guns also held at the ready.

The man to Nadir's right lunged for his gun despite the warning and Tony reacted instinctively to the offensive move. There was no time to try and talk the man away from the gun, no time to second guess his intentions. Tony shot the man. He aimed for the center of mass the way he had been trained by both the police academy and NCIS. The man fell away from the table and slumped against the wall. Blood spread like a crimson flower emanating from the gunshot wound and pooling on the floor beneath him. Tony grimaced.

Gibbs spared the man only the briefest glance before turning his glare back to Gil Nadir. "Don't try anything. You won't get anywhere."

"Why are you here?" Nadir jutted his chin out obstinately.

"Ziva David," Gibbs watched his reaction carefully. He wanted to wrap this up without taking the suspect back to the Navy Yard for interrogation. They were wasting time they didn't have. "Name sound familiar?" He saw the flash of recognition in Nadir's eyes.

"What business do you have with Ziva David?" Nadir asked, and Gibbs noted that he didn't deny knowing Ziva.

"She is the Mossad agent attached to my team."

"She is a traitor, a disgrace to her family and her country and she deserves what she gets." The acknowledgement was coming almost too easily.

"You don't know anything about Officer David."

"I know that she allowed her brother to be slaughtered like an animal. He was a good and loyal officer. A friend. She was his superior. It was her job to protect him and instead she got him killed by people who are supposed to be our allies. I will avenge the death of my friend."

Gibbs moved closer to the man, his stance threatening. "I want to know what you gave her and where the antidote is."

"Antidote," Nadir harrumphed. "You are making the assumption that there is an antidote. I intend for her to die in a most painful way. Why would I care if an antidote exists? Even if there was, what makes you think that I could ever be persuaded to turn it over to you," he spoke arrogantly.

"You will turn it over," Gibbs said with certainty. "Because if you don't and she dies I will personally see to it that you live a very long time and spend every moment wishing that someone would let you die." Gibbs was aware that during the conversation McGee had quietly handcuffed the third man and Tony had moved all of their weapons out of reach. His partners were now carefully combing the room for any clues that would lead to the discovery of the antidote they were looking for.

"There is something that you should understand about Ari as well." Gibbs continued softly. "The man was a double agent; a Hamas mole. I heard him admit to it myself. Ziva did all of Israel a favor by ridding the world of him. You pledge your loyalty to the wrong sibling. What," he said condescendingly, "did Ari tell you how he was the one loyal to Mossad and Israel? He lied to you and he jeopardized relations between our two countries with his antics. Do you propose to do the same thing in the name of revenge? Ziva is part of my team now and we won't let her go without a fight."

Nadir's gaze faltered for the first time as he processed this new information. He looked at Gibbs and saw the truth in his eyes. After what felt like an eternity of silence the man slowly rose from his chair leaving his hands visible and turning the chair over. Carefully secured to the bottom of the chair was a small box with two vials inside. Gibbs took them as Nadir looked at his watch. "I was told that there is only a 24 hour window to administer the antidote, so you had better hurry. It may already be too late."

Gibbs silently handed the box to Tony who carefully tucked it in the inside pocket of his jacket and sprinted for the door. Gibbs and McGee would take care of the rest of this. His only thought at the moment was to get back to Ziva as soon as possible.

He jumped in the car, cell phone already out, and pressing speed dial number four for Abby, he saw that she had called several times while they were inside the warehouse. He wanted to tell her that everything was going to be all right now.

"Tony?" He could tell that Abby had been crying as soon as she said his name and his heart plummeted. Please don't let them be too late, he prayed as his fingers turned white on the phone. He had heard what Nadir said, but nothing other than a full recovery would register in his brain. Ziva was just too tough for anything else. She was too good for anything else.

"What is it Abby?" He finally managed to grind out around the lump in his throat.

"Ziva," she paused to regroup. "They had to take her to the ICU. She's not doing very well. The doctor said that she has limited time. Ducky came down here to sit with me." Her voice broke and Tony could hear her crying in the background as Ducky came on the line.

"Ducky," Tony said desperately. "We found the antidote. Tel Abby, tell her that everything is going to be okay now." He looked down at his watch. Twenty-two hours had passed since Ziva was shot. He hoped that it was close enough. "I'll be there as soon as I can Ducky. Tell Ziva to hold on. Just tell her to hold on a little longer."

Tony snapped the phone shut and accelerated past the point of safety but he didn't care. He had to get the drugs to Ziva.

He pulled up in front of the emergency room. He didn't bother to turn the car off or close the door behind him as he sprinted to the building. The automatic doors almost didn't open fast enough and he turned sideways to dart through the narrow opening without waiting the extra half-second. He was only slightly out of breath when he reached the door to the ICU and it was mostly due to anxiety. He paused for a moment to compose himself before stepping inside. There were several rooms with glass doors and closed curtains behind them. He scanned the area and spotted Abby and Ducky sitting outside of one of the rooms. Abby had her head on Ducky's shoulder and she was fidgeting with the leather cuff on her wrist. She jumped up as soon as she spotted Tony.

"Did you really get the antidote?" She spoke softly to keep from disturbing the patients but her eyes begged him to do something.

"I did." He pulled the box out of his pocket and handed it to Ducky. Ducky looked at the vials critically.

"I'm not familiar with this, of course I wouldn't expect to be, seeing as this is a poison we are unfamiliar with. I will tell the doctor to administer it immediately." Ducky took the vials and went to speak with the hospital staff.

Tony sat heavily in the chair that Ducky had vacated and let his head tip back against the wall. He squeezed Abby's hand and sat there for a moment before heaving himself back out of the chair and walking towards Ziva's room. He pushed the curtain side and stepped into the dark quiet room. The nurse started to protest but then took a long look at Tony's face and resumed charting without saying a word.

Tony walked over to the bed and picked up Ziva's limp hand. He held it gently in his own. He looked at all the equipment surrounding her. Things were worse than he had imagined. He couldn't reconcile the woman lying here with the Ziva he knew. He was brushing the hair way from her forehead when a doctor in a long white lab coat walked through the door, followed closely by Ducky.


	4. Chapter 4

"I hear you Dr. Mallard," he said brusquely as he began to examine Ziva. "But legally and ethically we cannot administer an unknown substance to this patient. The first rule of medicine is to do no harm."

"You are doing harm by doing nothing." Ducky's voice got louder as he argued his case. "What have you done that will really help her? You've given adequate supportive care but what happens when that isn't enough? And we have information that says this needs to be within the first twenty-four hours after she was poisoned."

The doctor started to object. "The patient can't even give consent for experimental treatment."

Tony jumped in. "I will consent for her. She would want to try everything to save her life." Ducky nodded in agreement.

"And I will take responsibility for administering the drug," Ducky asserted.

The doctor threw his hands up in defeat. He turned to the nurse. "Make sure that he has everything he needs and then step out of the room for five minutes." He looked at Ducky conspiratorially. "We will have no knowledge of what happens during that time."

The nurse looked up at him in surprise. "Doctor?" she questioned. The doctor nodded, his eyes never leaving Ducky's face.

"You heard me."

"Okay," she said dubiously.

The doctor left the room, head held high. Ducky and the nurse conferred briefly over needles and syringes and then without a word she turned and left the room.

Ducky turned to Tony. "Are you sure my dear boy?"

Tony nodded. "I'm sure that she'll die if we do nothing and I'm pretty sure this is the real deal."

Ducky nodded. "I'm afraid it's the only choice we have." He drew the solution into the syringe and slipped the needle into one of the ports in Ziva's IV tubing. He slowly pushed the solution in. The two men stood and watched quietly as the steady beeping of the heart monitor remained unchanged in the background. Tony sighed heavily and Ducky patted him on the arm. "Any change could take some time. Why don't you go down to the cafeteria and get some coffee."

Tony shook his head. "I'm not leaving. I've done too much of that lately. I hurt her and I couldn't even tell her why. One minute Gibbs is gone and things between us are starting to change." Tony spoke softly as if he'd forgotten that Ducky was in the room with him. "We both felt a little lost. I didn't know how to lead the team. Gibbs is what holds the team together. Don't ever tell him I told you that." The corner of his mouth turned up wistfully.

"Ziva was so sad. Not so that most people would see it, but I could tell. She would never tell me what she did to make Gibbs remember everything. I thought she pulled her sig and threatened to shoot him if he didn't remember her but she told me that wasn't it. We were spending time together, getting each other through it. It really felt like something. Then Jenny came to me with this damn assignment and it screwed everything up. Things could have been so different and now we may never have the chance to do things right." He dropped his chin to his chest and squeezed Ziva's hand again.

Ducky squeezed Tony's shoulder. "Don't give up on her yet. She's come through a lot to get to this point. She won't give up." Tony nodded and listened as Ducky walked out of the room. He also heard the nurse walk back in moments later but neither of them said anything.

The nurse adjusted a few settings on the machines and looked sympathetically at Tony. Tony just looked down and stroked Ziva's knuckles. He noted that her normally olive-toned skin looked pallid. His fingers tightened fractionally around hers and to his surprise he felt her squeeze back. "I think she's waking up," he said excitedly.

The nurse turned and looked at Ziva and then looked at the machines again. "I think it was just an involuntary muscle contraction," she said cautiously.

"Killjoy," Tony grumbled and turned away. He stood there for several more minutes before he saw Ziva's eye twitch. He didn't say anything for fear of having his hopes shot down again but he continued to carefully observe Ziva for movement. Suddenly she pulled her good hand away from Tony and in a flash she reached for her mouth and extubated herself. Her eyes were still closed as she held the tube in her hand and coughed reflexively.

Tony's mouth flew open in shock and the nurse squeaked in surprise. She ran to Ziva's side and pried the tube from her fingers and then she watched as Ziva continued to breathe without the assistance of the ventilator.

Her eyes opened slowly as if weighed down and she struggled to focus on Tony. "What happened?" She asked with difficulty.

Tony slowly studied her prone form. "Um, what's the last thing you remember?" he asked with a half smile, now convinced that she really was going to be okay since she was awake and talking.

"Uh," Ziva wracked her brain for the answer to his question. "Abby was here," she suddenly stiffened and looked around the room. "Where is Abby? And when did you get back?"

"Abby's in the lobby and I got back a little while ago. You scared everyone. McGee and Gibbs are probably back at NCIS making mince meat out of the guy who shot you, but we got the antidote to the poison out of him first."

Ziva tried to push herself up a little at those words. "You got him? Who is he?"

"Mossad, apparently trying to avenge your brother. We set him straight though." Tony took her hand again. You really should get some more rest. "You've been through a lot."

Ziva stubbornly shook her head. "I need to speak with Abby."

Tony shrugged. "Okay," he stuck his head out of the door, tension draining from his body for the first time in hours leaving only exhaustion in its wake. "Hey Abs," he called to the girl who was now hunched over in her chair, clutching Burt to her chest and looking very alone. She looked up at him and he smiled at her. "Ziva's awake and she's asking for you."

Abby looked relieved but then she looked nervous. She stood hesitantly and walked slowly toward Tony. "What's wrong Abby?" Tony looked concerned. He had expected Abby to bowl him over to see Ziva.

"Tony," she said quietly. "I said terrible things to Ziva right before she got worse." She brushed a tear away. Tony looked at her thoughtfully, recalling the slap fest between the two women when Gibbs was in the hospital. Abby didn't always react well to people she cared about being injured.

"I'm sure it's fine Abby, come on in." She semi-reluctantly followed Tony into the room. Ziva had raised the head of the bed a little after Tony left the room and despite the dark circles under her eyes and the obvious exhaustion in her expression she looked much better than the last time Abby saw her.

Tony noticed that Abby was still hiding behind him. He gently tugged her by the elbow until she was standing next to him. Abby fidgeted uncomfortably and Ziva studied her with dark somber eyes.

"Abby," Ziva finally broke the silence but she wouldn't meet Abby's eyes. "I'm sorry about earlier. So much of the last day is fuzzy, like a nightmare but I was awake. I know that I behaved badly though and I apologize." The last part came out stiffly as if Ziva was unaccustomed to apologizing.

Abby rushed over, surprised and relieved that Ziva wasn't berating her for the terrible things that she had said. "No, no, you weren't responsible for the things you said. I shouldn't have let it bother me. I said terrible things too and I didn't mean them."

Tony watched, smiling as the two talked animatedly and when Abby sat on the bed and they were both giggling when he left the room to get the cup of coffee that he so desperately needed. He walked down the hall and almost literally ran into McGee. The younger man looked disheveled and concerned.

"Tony, how is Ziva doing? Gibbs is still interrogating Nadir, but now that he knows the truth it's pretty much all over. Abby and Ducky are gone and."

"McGee," Tony finally interrupted the nervous rambling. "She's doing better. Abby is in there with her now. Room 115. Why don't you go see her. I'm going for coffee. I'll be back in a few minutes." He clasped McGee on the shoulder.

"Thanks Tony." McGee nodded relieved.

Tony finished pouring sugar in his coffee and sat down at one of the tables. It had been an incredibly long day and the exhaustion was catching up with him. He longed to crawl in his bed and sleep for a week but he wanted to talk with Ziva again before he called it a night. He felt confident that the worst was over but he knew that she would still need support in the weeks to come as her arm healed. He wanted her to know that he would be there for her.

He wasn't really sure when it happened that he didn't just see a colleague when he looked at her but he realized that he wanted something more. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it out and looked down. He'd missed ten calls from Jeanne since last night. He thought about returning the calls but he just couldn't bring himself to deal with her right now. He wasn't sure that he could continue with this assignment at all after this incident. It was just too hard keeping these secrets. He was going to tell Jenny that he was out. She was going to have to find some other way of catching La Grenouille.

The phone rang in his hand. It was McGee. "What's up Probie?" He answered lightly but felt trepidatious.

"Ziva wants to know if you're coming back up here or if you're leaving." Tony could tell from McGee's tone that he was standing in Ziva's room and he suspected that Ziva wanted to know but didn't want McGee to ask.

"I've been suitably caffineated and I'm on my way back up now. There's no Caff-Pow down here but I can bring some really bad coffee if you or Abby are interested."

"Nah, we're okay. See you in a few minutes," he said for Ziva's benefit.

Tony gathered up his trash and headed back upstairs. McGee and Abby were sitting in the chairs, quietly talking to one another. Tony glanced at Ziva and realized that she was asleep again, reclining in the bed. She looked like she was finally resting comfortably. Abby stood when she saw him approach and bounced over.

"We're going to go. She's tired and she needs to sleep but you should stay. She fell asleep right after McGee told her you were coming back." Tony nodded wordlessly. He knew that Ziva wouldn't be afraid to stay here by herself but when he had the plague he appreciated Kate staying with him, even after he knew he wasn't going to die.

He said good night to Abby and McGee and sent them home then he toed off his shoes and turned down the lights. He pulled the chair close to the bed and once again propped his feet on the edge of Ziva's bed. He closed his eyes for just a moment and woke up to a gentle smack to the back of his head.

"How's she doing?" Gibbs whispered.

Tony nodded. "Better I think, she's been asleep since McGee and Abby left."

"So have you, I take it." The sting of the words was belied by the twinkle in his eyes.

"You done with Nadir?"

"Yeah, he confessed to everything. We're going to let Mossad handle him from here on out."

"Really Boss? I'd think you'd want to deal with him yourself."

"I can't do what I want to do to him. I spoke with Ziva's father. They'll make sure he gets what he deserves."

Tony nodded with understanding. "I'm sure she'd want to talk to you, you should wake her. I'm going to hit the little boys room."

Gibbs nodded and watched as Tony took one last look at his partner over his shoulder before he walked away.

"Ziva," Gibbs said quietly. "Hey," he hissed but she still didn't respond. He pulled up a chair and watched her for a moment, his eyes boring holes into her face. Suddenly she gasped and her eyes flew open. She looked at Gibbs, disoriented for a moment.

"Where did Tony go?"

"Bathroom, he'll be back in a few minutes. I wanted to talk to you." Ziva nodded and relaxed against the pillow. "You know what happened?" He asked.

"Sort of, not really," she amended. "Tony said something about avenging Ari's death?"

Gibbs nodded slowly. "He thought you were the rogue agent. I guess he and Ari were friends, but not such good friends that your brother shared what he was really doing. I spoke with your father. He will take care of it." Ziva nodded stoically.

"That's what I was trying to avoid by coming here. Maybe I should go back. I don't want to put you at risk because I have enemies."

"You're not going anywhere. Besides, no one has more enemies than DiNozzo and I haven't kicked him to the curb." He spoke affectionately.

"What's this I hear about DiNozzo?" Tony asked as he sauntered back into the room. He had been standing outside the door for several minutes trying to give Gibbs and Ziva some privacy but anxious to get back in there. He couldn't make out the words but he heard the tone of voice change to a happier banter and picked that moment to walk in.

Tony stood by Ziva's bed and took in her appearance. PPP She looked better this morning but there will still dark circles under her eyes. The nurse followed Tony into the room. "Hey look, it's a party." Tony gestured around the now filled room. The nurse smiled in return.

"We're moving Ms. David to a regular room this morning. I was here yesterday when she was admitted to the ICU and I'm glad to see her looking so much better." Ziva smiled at the young woman.

"I feel like I have been playing musical beds," she looked at Tony to see if she had gotten the colloquialism right. He nodded, surprised and smiled at her.

The nurse turned to Tony and Gibbs. "She's going to be in room 312 but first I have to change the dressing on her arm. Why don't you boys go get some breakfast and meet her there in a little while."

Tony angled his head at Ziva silently inquiring if she was okay with being left alone here. She gave a reassuring smile and nod. Tony tugged gently on her finger. "I'll see you in a little while."

"You can go home and change if you want to." She wrinkled her nose, either at the sight or smell of him, he wasn't sure.

"Is that a hint?" He flashed her a thousand watt smile. He knew she was feeling better if she was making wisecracks about his hygiene. "All right, if you think I need a shower I can work on that. I'll be back though." Ziva nodded. Gibbs just raised one eyebrow at her.

The boys pulled the curtain closed behind them and Ziva was left alone with the nurse.

The nurse started pulling supplies out of a drawer. "Would you like some pain medicine before we get started?"

"No, I will be fine."

"Are you sure? This should have been done yesterday but you weren't stable enough to do it. I'm afraid the dressings might be stuck to the wound."

"I have had so many drugs running through me in the last two days that I can't stand the idea of any more. Please, just do it."

"Alright," she looked nervous but picked up a pair of silver bandage scissors and began to carefully cut the dressing, starting at Ziva's fingers. "The reason they wrapped your entire arm is to help with swelling. If they had just wrapped you upper arm it would have trapped the fluids in your hand."

Ziva nodded but was only half paying attention. The pain was forgettable when the nurse was working low on her arm but as she approached the wound the pain was intense. She hadn't even begun to remove the bandages. She was simply cutting through them and leaving them in place. Ziva clenched her teeth and concentrated on breathing quietly through her nose. She willed the rest of her body to remain relaxed in the bed.

"Do you think they will let me go home today?" She asked with some effort, trying to keep her mind off of the nurse's attention.

"I suppose anything is possible but I wouldn't get my hopes up if I were you. You were very sick yesterday. There weren't very many people who thought you were going to make it. If it weren't for that hunky partner of yours and that English doctor I'm not sure you'd be here now."

Ziva looked surprised. "Why? What happened?"

"They brought the antidote back and the intensivist didn't want to use it. It isn't hospital protocol to just go around injecting people with random medications. But your guys were insistent and obviously it worked because you woke up right after that."

The nurse finally made it through all the layers of bandages with her scissors and started gently peeling the dressing away from the skin. Ziva could only concentrate on not crying out. Her arm felt like it was on fire.


	5. Chapter 5

"Hmm," the nurse murmured to herself

"Hmm," the nurse murmured to herself. "This doesn't look very good." Ziva looked down at the exposed wound. There was a row of small neat sutures running down the front of her arm. The skin around the sutures was dark gray. The rest of the arm was bright pink and swollen. It was an angry looking wound.

"I think it's infected," Ziva said through clenched teeth.

"It would seem so," the nurse concurred. She placed a piece of clean white gauze over the wound but didn't wrap it back up. "Let me call the doctor. He needs to see this before I do anything else." Ziva nodded and leaned back in bed.

She tried to relax as she was left alone but her arm was now throbbing and tension radiated through her. She turned the television on to try to pass the time but there was nothing that caught her interest and when she got back to the channel she started from she turned the TV off in disgust. She wished for just a moment that she hadn't sent Tony home. She could use one of his bad jokes right about now. She shook that thought from her head. She couldn't allow herself to get soft and begin to rely on people. She could only rely on herself.

The doctor finally walked into the room. He was pulling his white coat on and he brushed his hands together, dislodging the last few crumbs from his breakfast. "What do we have here Ms. David?" He butchered her name again but she didn't bother to correct his pronunciation as he gently pulled the gauze away from her wound.

He looked at the site critically for a moment and she watched as his eyebrows rose in concern. "That doesn't look very pretty does it," he said thoughtfully. "Considering the nature of the injury and the poison that was on the bullet I think the safest thing to do would be to take you back to the operating room and wash that wound out. We can get rid of any dead tissue and then close it up again. I think you'll be here receiving IV antibiotics for a few days if not a week. Hopefully that will be all the wound will require."

Ziva nodded. She didn't relish the idea of more surgery or a lengthy hospital stay but she knew that arguing would do no good. She could intimidate the doctor but Gibbs would be back at some point and he would force her to do what the doctor wanted. "I'm going to bump you to the head of the OR list for this morning. I am really uncomfortable with the appearance of the wound. And the sooner we get it taken care of the better I will feel."

Ziva nodded again. She didn't have any questions so she was left alone again to wait until someone came to take her to the operating room.

She didn't wait for very long before the unnamed hospital employees came and transferred her onto a cart for her trip to the OR. The nurse there slipped mediation into the IV port before Ziva could protest and too soon she found herself in the artificial darkness created by eyelids that refused to stay open.

Tony stood in room 313. His hair was still damp from the shower. He hadn't wasted any time at home. Still shaken from the previous days events, he really didn't want to let Ziva out of his sight. He assumed however incorrectly, that she would beat him to her new room since he had to drive all the way home and she was coming from the first floor.

He poked his head out into the hall thinking that perhaps they were bringing Ziva at this very moment but the hallway was deserted. That nagging feeling of worry pricked his gut again and for an instant Tony was afraid he really was turning into Gibbs. He shook the thought off as quickly as it came. There would be plenty of time to make jokes once he figured out where they were hiding Ziva. Tony recognized his tendency to joke for what it was, a defense mechanism against the not so pleasant emotions that he really didn't want to deal with.

He walked out into the hall and found the nurses station without difficulty. "Could you tell me when Ziva David will be in her room?" He asked the blonde nurse sitting at the desk. She appeared engrossed in the computer screen in front of her.

"Excuse me?" She looked up and then took a second glance as Tony smiled his most charming smile at her.

"Ziva David," he repeated. "She is supposed to be in room 312 but no one is there." Tony received a blank stare from the girl but then she started typing.

"Hmm," she said thoughtfully. "It looks like she was assigned to room 312 but then they changed the request. It looks like she's in the OR now and they have assigned her a bed on the fourth floor once she is out."

"Why the fourth floor?" Tony asked innocently.

"Well, the fourth floor is the burn unit and the wound care center," she shrugged. "Good luck finding her." The girl's smile suggested that she wouldn't mind if Tony stayed to chat or left his phone number but Tony never spared her another glance once he got the information he needed.

He quickly walked back to the OR waiting room. He was rapidly becoming tired of the hospital. He knew he was spending too much time here because he wasn't getting lost anymore. He walked up to the volunteer desk in the waiting room and announced himself. At least there was someone he could talk to during the day instead of waiting in ignorance.

"Excuse me," he said politely. The lady at the desk reminded Tony of his grandmother. "I am waiting for Ziva David. She wasn't supposed to have surgery, can you please tell me what is going on?" He tried to keep his voice calm but it was difficult in the face of the uncertainty he was dealing with.

She, like the nurse on the third floor tapped the keys on the keyboard before she spoke. "Oh yes, Ziva David. Dr. Sharp called about her right after rounds. She should have been added onto the bottom of the surgery schedule but he took her first and bumped everyone else. Now the schedule for the whole day is going to be off and I have to explain to all these people with appointments that they have to wait." She spoke quickly and looked accusingly at Tony, as if he had personally messed up her schedule.

"Can you tell me why she is in surgery?" Tony asked, flashing his best grin again.

"No, no," the older woman said with alarm. "Don't be trying to get me into trouble. Everyone knows that HIPPA prevents me from giving out any patient information. Honestly, you're lucky that I could even tell you that she's a patient in the hospital."

"I've been here with her the entire time she's been a patient." Tony was getting worried and having a harder time hiding his frustration.

"I'm very sorry sir but you can wait over there," she indicated the hard plastic chairs Tony ad sat on after Ziva was first shot. "And I'm sure that the doctor will come talk to you as soon as Ms. David is out of the OR, which hopefully will be soon." She muttered to herself, once again agonizing over her schedule under her breath.

Tony resigned himself to waiting again but first he pulled his phone out of his pocket to inform Gibbs of this development.

The volunteer was right. Thirty minutes and several telephone calls later the same doctor that Tony had spoken to after Ziva's first operation appeared at the doorway and called for the David family. Tony stood instantly. Ziva was his family, or he was hers, either way he approached the doctor for details. "When I left this morning Ziva was doing fine. Then I come back and hour later and she's in surgery. What is going on here?" Tony's anxiety was showing.

"Mr. DiNozzo, we should sit," the doctor gestured toward a pair of unoccupied chairs in the corner.

"I don't want to sit, I just want to know what's going on." Tony responded impatiently. The doctor nodded and didn't suggest that they sit again.

"When the nurse went to change Ms. David's dressing this morning they found a very severe wound infection with some necrotic tissue. I took her back to the OR to wash out the wound and debride the nonviable tissue. I had to remove a fair amount of skin and muscle. Unfortunately I was unable to close the wound at this time so I,"

"Maybe we'd better sit down," Tony interrupted, his stomach rolling at the graphic description of Ziva's injury and latest surgery.

The doctor nodded and once again gestured at the unoccupied chairs in the corner. Tony sat heavily and returned his attention to the doctor. "So you said you couldn't sew her arm back up?" Tony reiterated the last thing he remembered. The doctor nodded.

"Yes, the wound was too large so we used what we call a wound vac to cover it for the time being. It will help with wound healing and in time the wound will either heal enough to be manageable with surgical closure or we will do a skin graft to close it. Now, all of this is assuming that she doesn't have any further problems with infection. I've prescribed a ten day course of IV antibiotics, hopefully that will work but as I explained to Ms. David, we don't know what was on that bullet and we don't have any of the antidote left to analyze, so we are just guessing what is going on with her arm."

"Can I see her?" Tony asked numbly, his worry renewed with talk of infection and skin grafts.

"Of course, once she gets back to her room. The nurses will probably observe her longer than normal to make sure she is stable but she'll be moved oh, probably within the hour. You can either stay here or meet her upstairs.

"I'll stay here and walk up with her when they transfer her."

The doctor nodded. "I'll let them know that you're down here and they can retrieve you when they go."

Tony just nodded and slumped back in the chair, resuming his uneasy wait. Time seemed to stand still but at last one of the nurses came to collect Tony. He looked down at Ziva, lying on the rolling cart. Her eyelashes were long and dark against her pale skin.

"Hey," he whispered and brushed a long tendril of hair back from her face. Her eyes fluttered and she looked at him groggily. She then looked down at the new contraption covering her arm. "Everything is going to be fine," he attempted to comfort her as they walked toward the elevator.

"Everything is not going to be fine," she snapped at Tony unexpectedly as she looked down at the new dressing.

"What? You mean you didn't want a vacation? Once you get out of here you can go lay on the beach in Greece or take a cruise. Or maybe,"

"Tony, stop it." Ziva's voice lost the anger that it held previously. She suddenly sounded sad and resigned. "Just go away and leave me alone okay?" She wouldn't meet his eyes. The hospital staff locked the bed into place as they wheeled into Ziva's new room and walked out quietly, feeling uncomfortable overhearing the conversation.

"You're not really kicking me out of here are you?" Tony continued to smile. Confused at the turn the conversation was taking. Ziva was making sense and there was no poison running through her veins. He didn't understand her anger.

"I just want you to leave and not come back." Her eyes flashed dark as she glanced angrily at him. She turned away and stared at the wall. Tony stared at the back of her head, mouth opening and closing while he tried to figure out what to say. Finally he brushed the back of her shoulder with his hand. He knew that there was no use trying to change her mind once she'd decided something.

"Call me if you need anything," he said quietly and walked out of the room. Ziva didn't watch him go.

Tony left the hospital and drove straight to NCIS. He walked through the bullpen without seeing or speaking to anyone. He burst through the doors to the directors office and the door banged as it flew back and hit the wall. Cynthia, the director's secretary looked up, startled.

"I need to talk to the director now." Cynthia was used to seeing the easy going, smiling Tony DiNozzo and wad thrown by the angry man standing in front of her.

"I, I'll see if she's in," she stammered slightly, picking up the phone in front of her. She dropped her chin and lowered her voice. She looked up seconds later. "You can go in," she said quietly.

Tony attempted to smile his thanks but the result was more of a grimace than a grin. Tony stalked into the inner office. The director was sitting at her desk. She rolled the stems of her glasses loosely between her fingers.

"Can I help you Mr. DiNozzo?" She gestured toward the chair in front of her desk but Tony declined the offer to sit. He paced the room like a caged tiger.

"I'm done," he growled. "I won't keep secrets from my team any more."

"Tony," she leaned forward and rested her elbows on the desk. "I know that you are upset but this mission didn't have anything to do with the fact that Ziva got hurt. You've been under a lot of stress. I want you take some time and think about what you're saying before,"

"She called me," Tony interrupted. He stopped pacing and leaned against the back of the chair to emphasize his point. "She was hurt and needed help. She called me and I was 'unavailable,' off romancing La Grenouille's daughter. What happens next time when I'm doing you a favor and someone needs me? We're a team. We can't be a good team if we're keeping secrets from one another."

"Okay Tony," Jen stood and tried to placate the angry man in front of her. "If you want to end things with Jeanne then end things with her. We'll figure out another way to her father. But listen to me," she reached out and put her hand on Tony's forearm. "I never intended for anyone to get hurt, and trust me. If anyone can come through this unscathed it's Ziva. I spent quite a bit of time with her and I was there when she was shot in Cairo. She's tougher than you are giving her credit for right now. She's going to come through this,"

Tony slumped in his chair, defeated. "She threw me out of her room this morning." Jen sat down net to him, her forehead wrinkled in concern.

"What do you mean?"

"She went to surgery unexpectedly, I was at home taking a shower. When she got back she was so angry," he dropped his head into his hands. "I didn't realize how much I cared about her until she was lying in that bed and I thought she was going to die. She almost died." Tony's voice broke on the last word. Jen reached out to him and placed her hand on his shoulder.

"Be careful Tony, it's not easy to be with someone you work with."

"Sometimes you don't get to pick what your heart wants." The desperation in Tony's voice was apparent. "I don't even know if she thinks of me as anything other than her screw up partner who can't be serious about anything but,"

"I don't think that will be a problem Tony. I've seen the way she looks at you. Just be there when she needs you and everything will work out. But be sure what you want, don't hurt her. She'll pretend she's fine and she won't say a word but she's been hurt enough."

"Gibbs is gonna,"

"He won't do anything. Oh, he'll probably scream for a while and he's going to slap you silly," she couldn't hide a grin. "But he won't really say anything. Now go on, you're no longer a part of project Lodestone but you're in charge of breaking up with Jeanne." Jen ushered him toward the door. "And if I may make a suggestion?"

Tony nodded quietly.

"Let Ziva cool off a bit before you go back to talk to her. I don't know what she's upset about but you don't want to tangle with her when she's angry."

Tony smiled as he walked out of the office.

Tony passed the next few days sitting at his desk, pretending to work. Ziva wouldn't take calls from him or any of the rest of the team. He couldn't even get any information about how she was doing. Ziva had directed that the hospital not tell them anything. Tony prayed that a big case didn't come in while they were dealing with this, because he knew he couldn't give it 100. Gibbs was storming around the office drinking ungodly amounts of coffee and Abby and McGee were both moping. Tony wasn't sure what to do with himself. He started to make a spitball but then looked over at her empty chair and threw the straw wrapper in the trash.

Gibbs stalked by and stopped in front of Tony's desk. "Go home DiNozzo," he said abruptly. "We're not catching cases and you're not accomplishing anything so get out of here."

Tony started to protest but he was stopped by a look from his boss. "Now, DiNozzo."

"Sure thing Boss," he said without his normal enthusiasm. Gibbs watched him take the elevator downstairs and then picked up his own keys. He was going to find out once and for all what was going on with Ziva and then maybe his team could start to get back to something resembling normal.

He walked into her hospital room without stopping at the front desk. Ziva looked up in surprise. "Gibbs, what are you doing here?"

"Came to see you." He perched casually on the chair. "Want to tell me what's going on? You kicked DiNozzo out of here and for once I don't think he did anything to deserve it. Then you won't see the rest of us. So tell me what's going on." Ziva wadded up the blanket in front of her with her left hand, her right still immobilized by a splint and the wound vac. She wouldn't meet Gibbs eyes.

"Everything is fine," she said quietly. "I just needed some quiet."

"Tell me," Gibbs commanded, shifting to the edge of her bed and forcing her chin up with two fingers. Ziva blinked away the tears that she couldn't quite hide.

"The doctor came in after the last operation and he said that there is a good chance that the mobility in my right arm will be permanently affected." She swiped at her nose with two fingers. "There will be no place for me at NCIS. There will be no place for me anywhere." She raised her chin and turned to look out the window. Gibbs could see her jaw work overtime as she willed the moisture in her eyes to remain where it belonged. Gibbs was one of the few people to ever see her cry and she didn't want to give him a repeat performance.

"Ziva," he said softly. "I know you can't really see or understand this right now but there is more to you than knife skills and brute force. You are very intelligent and you are an asset to my team regardless of how this turns out," he paused, waiting for the denial that didn't come. Ziva just watched him with interest, wondering how he would be able to justify keeping an agent around who was less than effective in the field.

"If you did nothing but handle interrogations you'd still be valuable to the team. Just like McGee's most valuable skills are fooling around with those blasted computers."

"I am not McGee," Ziva finally interrupted. "And I do not have any special skills that will make up for lack of prowess in the field."

"That's what I just said," Gibbs sighed. "You have more skills than you know and you don't know what the outcome of all of this," he gestured toward the medical equipment. "Will be. Are you going to let the words of one idiot doctor dictate your recovery?" He moved so he was only inches from her face and growled at her. "The Ziva David I know is no quitter. You can either beat the odds or you can accept them. Now which is it going to be?"

Ziva looked into Gibbs intense stare and willed herself not to back away. She mulled over his words. She had worried that America was going to make her soft and perhaps it had, if only mentally. Gibbs was right. She wasn't a quitter and sitting here wallowing in her own self-pity went against every value she held dear. Ziva closed the gap between herself and her boss another centimeter. "I am going to fight this and I will be successful."

Gibbs relaxed and leaned back. "That's good, I knew you would." He gave her a half smile before standing. "Can I tell the hospital staff that you are accepting visitors again? DiNozzo is driving me crazy, walking around like someone kicked his puppy."

Ziva's eyes narrowed as her brain worked to decipher the meaning behind the statement. Then she smiled brightly. "He misses me, yes?" At Gibbs slight nod of acknowledgement she continued. "I always knew that he would miss me if I were gone. I told him," Gibbs rolled his eyes at her enthusiasm and gave her a gentle slap on the back of the head before heading toward the door.

"Get some rest, we need you back." He called as he walked purposefully toward the elevator.

Ziva smiled happily at the thought of Tony missing her. Then she looked down at her arm and the smile dimmed. She heard Gibbs but she wasn't sure that his words were accurate. She knew where her strengths lie but she was willing to overlook any inaccuracies in his statements right now.


	6. Chapter 6

She looked at the phone on the bedside table. She thought about calling Tony but she felt something unfamiliar deep within her that she suddenly identified as nervousness. She didn't know what Tony was going to say when he saw her. She didn't feel like the same person she was a week ago. She was uneasy with this new weakness and she wasn't sure that she could handle the teasing that was sure to accompany him. She wouldn't cry but she wasn't sure that she could brush it off either. Despite Gibbs reassuring words everything felt different.

She reached slowly for the phone receiver and looked at the clock. She picked the receiver up and punched in the familiar numbers of Tony's cell phone. She figured there was a good chance that he wouldn't answer the unknown number and then she wouldn't have to feel guilty about refusing to talk to him. The phone rang twice before he picked up.

"DiNozzo," he answered neutrally. She hesitated for a moment and then decided that her nerves could go to hell.

"Tony," she said softly, her accent giving his name an exotic lilt.

"Ziva," he sounded relieved. "How are you doing?" She could hear the television in the background for a moment before the sound abruptly died. She smiled to herself, happy to warrant that much of his attention.

"I'm bored out of my mind. Why are you watching TV and not at work?"

"Gibbs sent me home early. Things are quiet and I think I was getting on his nerves." He didn't ask what had changed, why she was calling him now when she wouldn't talk to him before. He was just happy that she was talking to him.

"He was just here." Tony frowned for a minute before he realized what she was saying.

" Gibbs was just there?" He grinned. "You got head slapped didn't you. That's what made you come to your senses and call me," he teased her gently, silently thanking her for calling.

"He did not slap me. Very hard," she said under her breath. "Besides, you are the one he needs to slap all the time." Ziva smiled despite herself. She was surprised how easy it still was to talk to Tony and to laugh with him.

"Yeah well, he slaps me because he loves me," Tony grinned and then turned serious. "How are you really?"

"I told you, I'm bored and I'm sore and I'm," she paused again. "Gibbs told me that I would have a place on the team regardless of the outcome of all this but Tony, I'm scared. I can't do field work with one arm. And I do not think I can kill you with a paperclip with only my left arm," she tried to bring some levity to the conversation.

"That's good to know. I'll keep that in mind for future reference. Ziva," he sighed, knowing he had to address her real concern. "I know you're afraid. We are all concerned about you but don't sell yourself short. You are so tough. Those doctors who are telling you what might happen don't know how determined you are to kick their asses. You get through this part and I'll be with you all the way through the therapy part. We won't quit until you're 100 again."

Ziva smiled as she wiped her eyes again and held her hand over the mouthpiece as she quietly sniffled. She hadn't cried this much since she was a child but Tony's tenderness overwhelmed her. She couldn't ever remember a time when anyone said anything that she needed to hear so much. "Thank you Tony. I will let you get back to your movie now, yes?"

Tony laughed. "Sure, but how about I bring you dinner in a little while. You have to be sick of hospital food. We can watch a little TV and I'll see if I can't alleviate some of that boredom you're complaining about."

"You know I'll be here," she said with relief. Tony was just Tony. Nothing had changed. She allowed herself to believe that things might be okay after all.

She didn't have to wait very long before Tony showed up at the door waving a bag of takeout and a movie at her. "You hungry?" He smiled at her. "I brought a movie too." He pulled up a chair and pulled sandwiches and fries out of the bag. He laid everything on the table. "That hurt?" He nodded toward the machine attached to Ziva's arm. She glanced down at it and shrugged.

"Actually no, it squeezes but doesn't really hurt." She reached for the food and struggled to open the sandwich with her left hand. Tony fought the urge to help her. He knew it would only frustrate her. He calmly unwrapped his food and took a bite, trying not to watch too closely. He saw her grin in triumph when she took the first bite.

"So Ziva," he drew out the syllables of her name. "Whatcha been doing here all by yourself?" He was just making conversation but he noticed how she wouldn't meet his eyes when she shrugged.

"Just thinking I guess."

"Ziva,"

"Don't," she cut him off. "Please, I just. I, Gibbs already said it this morning. I would just like to sit and not think of any of this tonight." Tony nodded. He understood not wanting to think about unpleasant things for a while. He still needed to talk to Jenny about Jeanne. He couldn't avoid it forever but for now he had her calls set to silent.

"Yeah, okay." They ate in silence and then Tony let her pick out the movie. He had thrown two in his bag. He had a hunch that she had a weakness for musicals. So he just smiled as she laughed at her choices and picked The Wizard of Oz. He turned it on and looked at the hospital bed critically. "Shove over there." Ziva cocked her head at him curiously. "Really, just scoot a little."

She complied and he levered himself up beside her on the bed. He toed his shoes off over the side and with a minimal amount of jostling they ended up lying comfortably. Tony's arm was behind Ziva's shoulders and her head was pillowed on his chest. "Now, this is how you watch a movie." She smiled in acknowledgement and turned to watch the film.

The Scarecrow, Tinman, and Cowardly Lion were dancing and singing their way down the yellow brick road when Tony looked down and realized that Ziva was sleeping on his chest. He stroked her hair away from her cheek and took the opportunity to study her unnoticed. She was beautiful. It was so unusual to see her still like this. Tony didn't notice as the rest of the movie played out. He continued watching his partner sleep, silently musing over all the emotions that he felt for her.

He playfully antagonized her in the office it wasn't until he thought he was going to lose her that he realized how much he would miss her if she was gone. He realized much of his mood depended on walking into the squad room every day and seeing her smile at him or threaten to do him bodily harm. The door to the room quietly opened behind him and he craned his neck to see who was there. The nurse stepped in. She saw Ziva sleeping and whispered to Tony.

"Visiting hours are over but I can pretend you're not here if you want to stay. It's good to see her get some sleep." Tony looked down at Ziva and seeing that she was still sound asleep he felt comfortable whispering back.

"What do you mean?"

"I've been her nurse every night since she had the wound vac placed. She's just looked so sad. She hasn't been eating or sleeping. She just sits there. She doesn't really say anything either."

Tony squeezed Ziva involuntarily. "She won't be alone any more." The nurse nodded and slipped back out of the room.

"The call light is there if you need anything," she said as she gently closed the door. "Get some sleep, she has a dressing change scheduled for early in the morning." Tony nodded again.

He leaned down and kissed Ziva on the head. He closed his eyes just as Dorothy returned to Kansas and the last thing he heard was her saying that everything she had been looking for was already in her own backyard.

Ziva felt her consciousness slowly return. The sun was bright on her eyelids and there was someone there who didn't belong. She had been in the hospital long enough to know where she was. Her eyes remained closed as she took stock of her surroundings.

The smell under her cheek was familiar. She inhaled subtly and realized that the firm surface she was lying on was Tony's chest. She slowly opened her eyes and met the eyes of her partner staring at her.

"Hey," he smiled his greeting.

She ducked her head in embarrassment. "I didn't mean to fall asleep. You could have woken me when you wanted to leave."

"I didn't want to leave. I wanted to be here. The nurse said that you had a dressing change scheduled for this morning." Ziva nodded.

"They are changing this a couple times a week. The last time they said everything looked okay but they didn't sound confident."

"You nervous?"

"A little," she swallowed reflexively, conveying the tension without words.

"I'll stay and wait with you, okay?" Ziva shrugged.

"If you want to."

Ziva couldn't have breakfast because of the sedation used for the dressing change. Tony tried to keep her mind off things while she waited for the hospital staff to come get her. Finally it was time and Ziva smiled at Tony as they wheeled her off.

"See you," she said.

He nodded. "See you when you get back to the room." She cocked her head and he nodded. "I'll be here."

Tony walked down to the cafeteria for yet another cup of swill that the hospital tried to pass off as coffee. He looked at his phone thoughtfully before dialing the director's number. He knew that she wasn't going to be pleased to hear what he had to say but Tony was unwilling to let anything stand that could potentially affect the gentle truce that he felt developing between himself and Ziva. He had come too close to losing her to take that chance again. He closed his eyes for a moment and hoped that he wouldn't be sacrificing his career instead.

The conversation lasted only minutes and was surprisingly painless. He felt certain that the director understood what he was saying, even if she didn't exactly approve.

All that remained of this assignment was to end things with Jeanne. He felt vaguely uneasy about hurting her. She was an innocent victim of her father and Tony did care about her, even if he didn't love her the way he had pretended to. He looked down at his watch and decided to procrastinate having that conversation for a while longer.

He wanted to be there when Ziva got back to her room. He threw his coffee cup in the trash and wandered back upstairs.

He had just sat down and started to flip through the limited television channels when the nurse wheeled Ziva back into the room. She was sitting up in a wheelchair and the smile on her face was radiant.

"Thank you Melanie," she turned to the nurse behind her and nodded. She stood and stepped toward the bed and swayed momentarily. Tony grabbed her by the shoulder.

"Easy there ninja girl." He guided her down onto the edge of the bed and raised his eyebrows at her. "You okay?"

She nodded at him without losing her smile. "Ms.David got some good news this morning," the nurse spoke as she started to push the wheelchair out of the room.

Tony lowered his chin and looked at Ziva expectantly. "The doctor said that the wound looked significantly better today." She continued to smile at him. "He also said I could go home and come back for daily antibiotics. The wound vac is gone and he thinks that he will be able to close the incision next week without a skin graft. I will just need a couple more dressing changes that they can do at the same time as the antibiotics."

"That's great news." Tony leaned forward and carefully pulled her into a hug. He cupped the back of her head with his hand and kissed her temple. "I told you everything would be okay," he whispered into her ear.

"She just needs someone to drive her. She won't be cleared to drive at least until she's off all of her pain medication," the nurse casually interjected as she stood, ready to close the door behind herself.

Tony noted the momentary anxiety in Ziva's eyes at the mention of being dependant on someone. He turned and grinned at the retreating nurse. "If you had ever seen her drive you'd know that she probably shouldn't ever be cleared to drive." He winked at Ziva.

"We'll work it out," he attempted to soften his statement. "Now come on," he stood up as the door closed behind the nurse. "You get back in bed until someone official says that you can leave."

"I am not tired," Ziva started to protest but she couldn't conceal the yawn that burst forth. She smiled sheepishly and allowed Tony to cover her with the scratchy hospital blanket. It's the medicine they gave me, it takes a little while to wear off. You probably need to get to work anyway." She mumbled from behind her hand.

"Oh no, the last time I let you kick me out of here all hell broke loose and you wouldn't let me come back. I'm not giving you that chance again. Sleep. I'll be here."

"Maybe for just a minute." She closed her eyes and Tony grinned.

The discharge instructions were simple for the most part. Keep the dressing on her right arm dry and keep the PICC line in her left arm dry. The PICC line would stay as long as she was receiving IV antibiotics and sedation for dressing changes.

Ziva rolled her eyes when she heard the news. She knew that it was likely to be some time before she got to take an actual shower. All she really wanted was to stand under the scalding spray and let it beat her into oblivion until the water turned icy.

She noted the intensity with which Tony was listening to the nurses and knew he wouldn't let her sneak in there anyway, even with garbage bags covering her arms. As long as he was around, that little insecure voice in the back of her mind taunted her. It wouldn't be long before he met a mindless blonde and he would loose interest and she would be on her own again.

She was perfectly capable of taking care of herself, she had been doing it most of her life but somehow the idea of being on her own seemed more alone than it had before. There was comfort in having Tony there, offering to stay and take care of her for a while. She shook off the melancholy.

Tony placed the few items she had into a plastic bag and flung them over his arm. He gently rested his palm against her lower back. He had convinced the nurses to forego the requisite wheelchair ride to the car. He knew it would only serve to irritate his partner.

She felt surprisingly good and strong as she walked down the hallway and waited for the elevator.

"Have you talked to Gibbs at all? " She asked slowly. "You know he is going to head slap you when you show up," she trailed off as they stepped onto the elevator.

"He knows where I am. He gave me some time off. I'm going to stay with you, help you get settled back into your routine and make sure you have everything you need."

"Tony," she hesitated. "I do need someone to drive me to these appointments and I appreciate the sentiment but I don't think that,"

"There's no point in arguing," he cut her off. "My mind is made up. This is something I want to do."

Ziva swallowed audibly and raised her eyebrows skeptically. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. This isn't the place for this conversation," he gestured at the elevator doors. "No emergency stop switch, but I've been doing a lot of thinking since you got hurt. I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you and I can't remember ever feeling that way about another person. I mean," he hurriedly continued. "There are a lot of people I care about and I would be devastated if anything happened to them. But I can't imagine my life without you."

He stood in front of her and took her hands in his, just as the elevator doors opened. Ziva looked startled at the interruption. Tony smiled at her. "We'll finish this conversation when we're not in the elevator okay?"

He started to guide her into the hallway but she resisted. "What about your girlfriend?" Her face was a carefully blank mask.

Tony shook his head slightly. "Girlfriend? What girlfriend? I don't know what you're talking about."

Ziva's jaw tightened at his light words. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. You may not have said much about her but I'm not stupid Tony. Something has been going on with you. If it is not a woman then what?"

"I will tell you Ziva," he tried to usher her forward. "Just not here okay. Just trust me. It's not what you think." Ziva cocked her head at Tony but wordlessly let him lead her from the hospital.

The ride home was quiet but comfortable. Ziva was thrilled to see something besides the hospital walls for the first time in days and insisted on having the window rolled down despite the thirty-degree temperature outside. Tony compensated by turning the heat on high. He reached over and gently laid his fingers on her thigh and she surprised him by not making a threat against his life.

He pulled into the lot in front of her apartment and left her sitting in the car. He walked around and opened the door for her. He carefully helped her out without exerting pressure on her bandaged arm. "I'll get you settled inside and then I'll go to the store. I doubt there is anything edible left in there and I'm starving." He tucked her in on the couch and handed her the stereo remote since she still didn't have a TV.

He found a bottle of water in the fridge. He opened it and placed it on the end table. Ziva laughed.

"Tony, there is nothing wrong with my legs."

"I know, but humor me and stay put until I get back."

She rolled her eyes. "I don't have anywhere to be. As long as you come back soon I guess I'll be here."

Tony leaned down and pressed his lips against the top of her head.


	7. Chapter 7

The grocery store wasn't too crowded but Tony still found himself standing at the end of a line that didn't show any sign of moving in the near future. He sighed as he shifted his feet restlessly. His phone vibrated in his pocket and he pulled it out, opening it before he took the time to realize that it was the wrong phone. It was his 'secret' phone.

"Hey," he smiled into the phone assuming it was Ziva.

"Tony?" the voice was hesitant but familiar and Tony blanched at the voice.

"Jeanne?" He looked down at his cell wondering how he could have been so stupid to continue carrying both phones around.

"I've been so worried Tony. I've been calling you for a week. I've left a million messages. You ran out of that restaurant like something was wrong and then you were just gone. What happened?"

"I um, I meant to call you," he looked at the other patrons in the grocery store nervously. He ducked his head and attempted to cover his mouth with his arm as he spoke. "There was an emergency."

"What kind of emergency could there have possibly been that prevented you from letting me know that something was going on?" Hurt permeated Jeanne's voice and Tony felt guilty. She had been an unwitting pawn in her father's investigation and it was unfair.

"We should get together and talk. Are you busy tomorrow?" Tony stalled, knowing that he had to tell Ziva what was gong on before he met up with Jeanne. There would be no more secrets from Ziva. It just wasn't worth it. He made arrangements to meet Jeanne at a bakery near Ziva's place in the morning.

He hastily paid for his purchases and drove back to Ziva's apartment. He let himself in, juggling the bags of groceries and feeling relieved at the sight of Ziva dozing lightly on the couch. Classical music was playing softly in the background. Tony put the groceries away in the kitchen and rummaged around one of the bags. He pulled out a bag of pasta. He quietly perused the kitchen until he found a pot and put the water on the stove to boil. He left the water and sat on the arm of the couch.

He watched her sleep for a moment before gently running his thumb down her cheek. Her eyes fluttered and she looked up at him. "Feel like pasta?" He smiled at her. She pushed herself up until she was leaning next to him.

"Pasta will be fine. You want to finish that conversation we started in the elevator?" She looked down at her hands nervously.

"Yes I do. But first let me check on the food." Tony made short work of cooking dinner and sat the plates down on the coffee table. He pulled out his second cell phone and laid it in front of her.

"I wanted to talk about this."

Ziva looked confused for a moment before she realized what she was looking at. "This is your other cell phone yes? The one that your girlfriend calls."

"Yes, well um sort of." He sat down on the floor with his back against the couch. He couldn't see Ziva behind him but he could feel her sitting there. "She was my girlfriend but she was also the assignment that I was working on for Jen. She's La Grenouille's daughter. I couldn't tell anyone what was going on."

Ziva could hear the anguish in his voice. "And as time went on," he continued. "I really thought that I felt something for her. I mean," he paused as he reached out and gently wrapped his hand around Ziva's calf, needing the contact with her. "She's a good person. But every time I looked at her I felt like I was betraying you." He felt her stiffen and waited for her to speak, totally uncertain of her response to his confession.

"Do you mean that Tony?" she finally spoke so quietly that if Tony hadn't been completely silent he would have missed it. He turned and half raised himself up on one knee. He took her hand and looked earnestly into her deep brown eyes.

"Every word. I want to know you, everything about you. Even the things that you hide."

She turned away from his probing gaze. "You don't need to know those things. You would look at me differently if you did. You'd feel sorry for me."

"I'd never feel sorry for you. I might feel bad for the things that you to go through but they made you who you are. You are beautiful and strong." He spoke with uncharacteristic seriousness. "And your devious mind can keep up with mine prank for prank when we are gluing Probie to his keyboard." He grinned at her and she smiled back. "I'm not saying that I know what the future holds. I'm just saying that I want to be with you, I want to," he paused as he struggled to find the right word. Ziva leaned forward and gently rested her fingers over his mouth.

"I want to try too." She smiled as she said it. She guided him from the floor to sit next to her on the couch. She nestled herself under his arm and rested her head on his shoulder. All the subterfuge was part of an assignment?"

"Yup, in the morning I have to talk to Jeanne though. I left her alone at a restaurant the night you were shot and I've been ducking her calls since. I talked to the director. It's over. No more secrets." Ziva nodded and shifted slightly. "Does your arm hurt?" He asked.

"Just a little." He nodded.

"Come on, let's get you into bed. This is the most activity you've seen in days." He helped her up and walked with her to the bedroom. He handed her two white pills to help with the pain. Then he tucked her in and turned down the lights. He started to walk out of the room.

"Are you leaving?" She looked surprised that he was walking away after his revelation.

He shook his head. "I was just going to go hang out on the couch."

"Stay with me until I fall asleep?" He smiled and walked back into the room. He toed off his shoes and slid under the covers with her.

The days flew by. Tony went back to work but had plenty of leeway to take Ziva to her appointments and he did without complaint. Her wound healed slowly but she didn't need a skin graft. She started going to physical therapy and amazed her therapists with the speed that she regained her strength and dexterity.

Tony went along, at first for encouragement and then later to try to keep her from pushing herself too hard. She started back half days at NCIS but to her disappointment she was only cleared for desk duty. She longed to get out in the field and do something.

Her personal life was shaping up very nicely, however. Tony had been staying over and while she had known for a while that she had feelings for him they continued to develop. He made her laugh all the time. There was no shortage of time spent watching movies but they also enjoyed spending time together cooking and quiet time just sitting on the couch too. Ziva found that his claims of expertise in the bedroom were not exaggerated either.

Ziva pulled herself out of her reverie as the elevator dinged. The boys entered the bullpen. Ziva rose from her desk as Gibbs stalked by her desk.

"Gibbs" she spoke assertively. He rounded on her and she couldn't meet the intensity of his gaze.

"Did you find that car?"

"I'm still working on it. McGee is really better at this sort of thing." She shuffled some papers on her desk as Gibbs watched her with one eyebrow raised.

"Well then?" He asked when she showed no sign of speaking.

"I want back out in the field. I am going crazy here." He studied her silently, testing her resolve. When she didn't back down he nodded.

"Requalify on the range and you're off desk duty." Ziva gave a single nod but didn't raise her gaze from the desk. Gibbs watched her for a moment before moving on to his desk, intuitively knowing that she was feeling insecure about her skills. He was worried about her but also supremely confident that she would be okay in the end.

Tony stood across the room behind his desk, watching the exchange with interest. He knew that Ziva hadn't handled a weapon since she'd been injured. She had shared her desire to get out of the office with him but when he had offered to go with her to the range she was strangely reluctant. He was concerned about how she would handle any limitations. He loved the way their relationship was developing but he knew that she needed her job, it was part of who she was.

He walked up behind her and put his hand on her shoulder. "I'll go with you tonight." He leered at her. "And then we can go for dinner." She gave him a half smile, no one at NCIS knew about her and Tony, although she had gotten some suspicious looks from the director.

She nodded. "You can buy me dinner after," she said coyly.

Gibbs didn't look up but he smiled at the conversation. Rule 12 may be on the way out but he could never manage to follow it himself. Hopefully these two would have more success with long-term romance than he had.

Ziva sat in the passenger seat, looking toward the range apprehensively. Tony sat beside her, patiently waiting for her to get out of the car. When it was apparent that she wasn't going to move he leaned toward her. "You're ready for this." He asserted.

"What if I'm not?" Ziva stretched her arm out straight in front of her. Tony noticed the slightest tremor in her hand. "That could be the difference between life and death, and it may not be my life in jeopardy. What if my aim is off and someone gets hurt because of me. It would be selfish for me to put all of you at risk," she trailed off and Tony could see the anguish in her eyes.

"Ziva, come on, let's just go in and try it. If it's bad we'll figure it out together."

She took a few more breaths before nodding resolutely. "You're right. We should go in."

Tony lightly rested his fingers on her back as they approached the door and then sat on a bench behind Ziva as she readied herself. She stood, looking out at the target for a moment before she turned to him.

"Tony," she asked hesitantly. "Do you mind, um, could you." She turned away from him and he had to strain to hear as she asked the question. "Will you not watch me? If it's bad it will be harder," she trailed off slowly and Tony could see the fear again.

He nodded sharply, for once not making a joke. He stood and moved two stalls down and put a target on the line and rolled it out to twenty-five yards. He put his protective glasses and hearing protection on and turned to the target in front of him. He heard the first shots beside him and he forced himself not to turn to watch her.

Ziva shooting her weapon was a sight that had always turned him on. She looked incredibly comfortable with a weapon in her hand. She was lithe and sexy and he could envision himself pinning her up against the wall and making mad passionate love. He turned back to his own target and squeezed off a few rounds. He looked at his target critically. He could use some more time on the range himself.

At least they weren't shooting at his hat this time. He thought to himself. He noticed that Ziva's gun was silent and Ziva was silent as well. He hesitantly glanced her direction. He was trying to respect her wish not to be watched but curiosity was killing him. He was surprised to meet dancing brown eyes as he stole a glance her way. She was facing him and holding her target in her hands.

He leaned over her shoulder and looked at the tight grouping and grinned as he held his target next to hers. She had scored higher than he had. He wrapped his arms around her and swung her into the air. He planted a kiss on her lips. "See, I knew you'd be fine." His voice was filled with relief. "Now you can come back to work for real."

He stopped and dropped his head until his forehead rested on hers. "I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of this Ziva." His voice cracked at the admission.

Ziva laid the palm of her hand against Tony's face and caressed his cheek gently. "You know that none of this was your fault."

"I should have been there when you called."

She shrugged. "Maybe, but you were on a mission and you couldn't have prevented it anyway. You have been there when I needed you since then. Tony," she paused and closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them they were clear and bright. "Tony, I love you."

Tony opened his mouth like a fish. She placed two fingers across his lips. "I did not say it to hear you say it back. I just wanted you to know."

He crushed her to him and held her tightly. She felt more than heard him as he mumbled into her hair. "I do love you Ziva. More than you could possibly know."

_Epilogue_

_Ziva was cleared for active duty and the team felt whole again. Tony soon officially moved in with Ziva and Gibbs rescinded rule 12, grudgingly giving them his blessing. Nothing changed at the office. Tony still leered at Ziva and they fought and played pranks on each other and McGee but they went home together and cared for one another. Ziva was able to let her guard down at last and share all her hopes and fears along with the parts of her past that she kept so carefully hidden for so long. Tony trusted her enough to stop joking and let her see his vulnerabilities. They took care of one another on and off the job – and all was right with the world_.

finis

6


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